FUCKING HELL! I hate some of my fucking "family" members sometimes! Not going to mention who it is because I know someone close to them reads this, but FUCKING HELL!
Xic and I have traveled SEVERAL fucking times to visit certain people to show up and be all but ignored. One of these aforementioned persons had the AUDACITY to post on Facebook implying that I do not make an effort to visit all because someone else whom they haven't seen in NINE FUCKING YEARS moved in with them after THEY paid for them to fly there. REALLY?
MOTHER FUCKING, COCK SUCKING, TWATWAFFLE! Xic and I pay for every fucking visit we make! WE pay for OUR motel room! WE pay for OUR gas and travel expenses! YOU pay for NOTHING and don't even acknowledge our fucking existence when we're there! It took you 12 fucking hours to even say "Hi" to me one visit and you only said it because another family member who was visiting called you out on it! And you have the fucking NERVE to post shit on Facebook saying I should come visit YOU and the person whom you paid for to move there? FUCK YOU!
You even want some other twatwaffle to come visit whom you haven't seen in eight years and expect me to be nice to them after the shit they said about me on Facebook? FUCK THAT AND FUCK THAT GORILLA FACE WHORE TOO! I don't give a rat's ass if they are "family"!
You all can suck my metaphorical dick and choke on it, assholes! I'm fucking DONE. Oh I'll play nice for a while, but only for my children's sake and only for a few more years. Once time is out, you all can fuck off and stay the Hell out of our lives. I didn't need you for 30 fucking years and I won't need you for the next 30!
~Hekate
Monday, March 18, 2013
WTFH?
Minions, I've been called a few names in my life. Bitch. Whore. 'Spic bitch. Freak. You name it, I've probably been called it. But today... Today I was called a new name.
I was on my way to Walmart when I pulled up to a stop sign. I did my normal slow to a stop, like you're suppose to do, when this car comes speeding up behind me, slams on his breaks, screeches to a stop, and proceeds to follow me in a fast rage to Walmart.
When I parked, this Merle wannabe jumps out of his car and yells at me. Here is what was said:
Him: Learn to drive you Spasian bitch!
Me: The fuck is a Spasian?
Him: A 'Spic Asian!
Me: I can see where you might think I'm Asian, but I'm not. And perhaps you should learn to read you white trash asshole. Stop means STOP, not Skid Tires On Pavement. Fucking dick.
Him: ... (walks away)
I spent the rest of the time at Walmart wondering where he heard Spasian from. No way in Hell he was smart enough to come up with that on his own.
Anyway, back to the move. I'm hoping we're done on Thursday. Until then, I'll be MIA for a while. BTW, I hate moving...
~Hekate
I was on my way to Walmart when I pulled up to a stop sign. I did my normal slow to a stop, like you're suppose to do, when this car comes speeding up behind me, slams on his breaks, screeches to a stop, and proceeds to follow me in a fast rage to Walmart.
When I parked, this Merle wannabe jumps out of his car and yells at me. Here is what was said:
Him: Learn to drive you Spasian bitch!
Me: The fuck is a Spasian?
Him: A 'Spic Asian!
Me: I can see where you might think I'm Asian, but I'm not. And perhaps you should learn to read you white trash asshole. Stop means STOP, not Skid Tires On Pavement. Fucking dick.
Him: ... (walks away)
I spent the rest of the time at Walmart wondering where he heard Spasian from. No way in Hell he was smart enough to come up with that on his own.
Anyway, back to the move. I'm hoping we're done on Thursday. Until then, I'll be MIA for a while. BTW, I hate moving...
~Hekate
Sunday, March 10, 2013
A Serious Case of Mangina
Minions, in the apps I play (i.e. Marvel War of Heroes) we have "trainings" or "wars" with other alliances. Sometimes we win, sometimes we get our asses handed to us. The point is, win or lose we take its in stride and learn from what we did wrong. Usually it falls on us not having enough people online or calling one in before we fully recharged our attack power. Now when we win, sometimes it's EPIC. Last night was one of those EPIC times.
We went to war against an alliance we massacred once before. No big deal. Last nights war was close for a while. We pulled ahead, then they caught up. Then they were ahead and we caught up. Close to the end three or four of us unleashed a beating that they couldn't come back from if they were Dr. Who. (Is my geek showing again?)
Now sometimes you have gracious losers who send messages like "Man, good fight! If you ever want to merge alliances let me know!" Or "LOL And I though we had you when we were trailing by only 11k points!" Sometimes, though, we encounter the epitome of the sad existence of man. The cry babies who just refuse to except that they lost in a fair fight and have to whine, bitch, moan, and threaten with tattling on you to the mods of the game. Case in point: Mobage player L8RG8RS1
Ooh! Your going to tell on us for beating your team? OH NOES! PUH-LEASE don't tell on us for playing fair! Seriously, you basement dwelling, pansy ass, momma's boy? Get the sand out of your mangina, grow a fucking pair, and get the fuck over yourself. Take the loss and deal with it. You don't like losing? Too fucking bad, numb nuts. That's part of life. You may have grown up where everyone got a participation ribbon so the sniveling little shits like you didn't feel left out, but in the real world that doesn't happen. It's a fucking game, you lost, DEAL WITH IT! It's pretty fucking pathetic that a chick has to tell you that. Douchewaffle. Oh, did I hurt your feelings? Too fucking bad, asswipe. Go suck on your mommy's tits and hope she'll comfort you because you lost in a damned game. Also, the next time you think about messaging one of us bitching because your magina is bleeding, don't. Take a fucking Midol, shove a tampon in the bitch, shut the fuck up, and move on.
~Hekate
We went to war against an alliance we massacred once before. No big deal. Last nights war was close for a while. We pulled ahead, then they caught up. Then they were ahead and we caught up. Close to the end three or four of us unleashed a beating that they couldn't come back from if they were Dr. Who. (Is my geek showing again?)
Now sometimes you have gracious losers who send messages like "Man, good fight! If you ever want to merge alliances let me know!" Or "LOL And I though we had you when we were trailing by only 11k points!" Sometimes, though, we encounter the epitome of the sad existence of man. The cry babies who just refuse to except that they lost in a fair fight and have to whine, bitch, moan, and threaten with tattling on you to the mods of the game. Case in point: Mobage player L8RG8RS1
Ooh! Your going to tell on us for beating your team? OH NOES! PUH-LEASE don't tell on us for playing fair! Seriously, you basement dwelling, pansy ass, momma's boy? Get the sand out of your mangina, grow a fucking pair, and get the fuck over yourself. Take the loss and deal with it. You don't like losing? Too fucking bad, numb nuts. That's part of life. You may have grown up where everyone got a participation ribbon so the sniveling little shits like you didn't feel left out, but in the real world that doesn't happen. It's a fucking game, you lost, DEAL WITH IT! It's pretty fucking pathetic that a chick has to tell you that. Douchewaffle. Oh, did I hurt your feelings? Too fucking bad, asswipe. Go suck on your mommy's tits and hope she'll comfort you because you lost in a damned game. Also, the next time you think about messaging one of us bitching because your magina is bleeding, don't. Take a fucking Midol, shove a tampon in the bitch, shut the fuck up, and move on.
~Hekate
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Hekate and Ambien
Oh, Minions. Your beloved Goth mom has a hilarious read for you tonight.
I just pissed myself laughing at this shit.
~Hekate
I've been suffering from insomnia for quite some time. At first I thought it was just a stress thing and it would pass. Nope. Then my doctor suggested I take Melatonin. Didn't help. So the next step was a wonderful little pill called Ambien. I'm sure you've all heard of it. You've seen the commercials, heard horror stories about hallucinations or psychotic episodes. Yep. THAT pill.
My first experience with Ambien was a few years back. I was pregnant, but they thought I was going to lose the baby. I wasn't sleeping. At all. So they gave me Ambien. I thought I just went to sleep one night and woke up refreshed the next morning thinking I had a great nights sleep. I walked into my kitchen to find I had made a 13 egg omelette own the floor. Onions, peppers, ham, cheese, the works. Yeah. That was REAL fun to clean up.
Fast forward to the past few months. It's been a real roller coaster ride in the Goth house. Xic's schedule is all over the place, mostly working nights, and has been working since Friday and will work until Monday. Yep. 11 days in a row. Awesome. This not only takes a toll on him, but me as well. I finally had a breakdown in my doctor's office yesterday that led him to prescribe me Ambien so I could get some sleep. Oh, I got sleep alright. I felt great this morning. Seriously. I woke up HAPPY. That never happens. But then I read through chats on Line that we had with out Alliance members from Marvel War of Heroes... I'll just let you read them:
I just pissed myself laughing at this shit.
~Hekate
Friday, February 22, 2013
Car Alarm Rage
Minions, promise me you will NEVER be the person with the annoying car alarm that goes off repeatedly. Promise? Good. Now, time for a bedtime rant from your favorite Goth Mom.
Once upon a time in the land of the Goths there was a Goth Mom named Hekate. One dark, rainy night her husband, Xic, had to work a graveyard shift. This was nothing new to the Goth family, as it was just about every weekend that Xic's evil, maniacal boss scheduled him for this particular shift because he's a condescending fucktard who treats all his employees like they're five-year-old children.
On this night, after the Gothlings were in bed, Xic was getting ready for work when it happened. A car alarm went off. The constant honking of the horn was rather annoying. Xic tried to ask Hekate something, but she couldn't hear him over the fucking horn beeping over and over again. After about three minutes, give or take, the alarm stopped and all was well again. Until....
*BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!* The alarm started again an hour after Xic had left. Hekate was somewhat annoyed now, since it was getting late and she was trying to watch a movie. The alarm stopped after 10 agonizing minutes and Hekate resumed watching her movie.
*BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!* Again the alarm started just a few minutes after it stopped. Over and over the horn blared. And the lights flashed. As soon as it would stop, it started again. NINE. FUCKING. TIMES.
"Who the fuck owns this car?" Hekate wondered aloud. "Fucking noisy ass, piece of shit! I'm recording this bitch now!" and she proceede to take out her phone and record the nuisance when the owner appeared.
"Uh... What do you think you're doing?" Said the twatwaffle owner. "You can't just take picture of my car!"
"Oh, I wasn't taking pictures, I was about to record your car since you obviously don't know how to control ten alarm on it and show it to the owners of the complex. That way if they get a call on you again, your car will be towed...." Hekate said as she walked away. She stopped, turned and said, "That is, unless one of our neighbors or I decide to disable your alarm next."
The owner quickly moved their car and didn't come back.
The End
I seriously hate when visitors here park wherever the Hell they want and have annoying fucking alarms that go off at odd hours or they sit and play with their panic buttons for fun. Fucking assholes. They're lucky my kids didn't wake up or I would have bashed their car with a bat, my battle axe, and whatever else I got my hands on. My doc put me on a new med that's suppose to make me happy, instead it's made me sick, tired, twitchy, and pissed off even more, the last thing I need right now is some fuckers damned car alarm blaring all fucking night while I try to relax and possibly go comatose sometime around 2-3 am if I'm lucky! Seriously, Minions, don't be that person. EVER!
~Hekate
Once upon a time in the land of the Goths there was a Goth Mom named Hekate. One dark, rainy night her husband, Xic, had to work a graveyard shift. This was nothing new to the Goth family, as it was just about every weekend that Xic's evil, maniacal boss scheduled him for this particular shift because he's a condescending fucktard who treats all his employees like they're five-year-old children.
On this night, after the Gothlings were in bed, Xic was getting ready for work when it happened. A car alarm went off. The constant honking of the horn was rather annoying. Xic tried to ask Hekate something, but she couldn't hear him over the fucking horn beeping over and over again. After about three minutes, give or take, the alarm stopped and all was well again. Until....
*BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!* The alarm started again an hour after Xic had left. Hekate was somewhat annoyed now, since it was getting late and she was trying to watch a movie. The alarm stopped after 10 agonizing minutes and Hekate resumed watching her movie.
*BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!* Again the alarm started just a few minutes after it stopped. Over and over the horn blared. And the lights flashed. As soon as it would stop, it started again. NINE. FUCKING. TIMES.
"Who the fuck owns this car?" Hekate wondered aloud. "Fucking noisy ass, piece of shit! I'm recording this bitch now!" and she proceede to take out her phone and record the nuisance when the owner appeared.
"Uh... What do you think you're doing?" Said the twatwaffle owner. "You can't just take picture of my car!"
"Oh, I wasn't taking pictures, I was about to record your car since you obviously don't know how to control ten alarm on it and show it to the owners of the complex. That way if they get a call on you again, your car will be towed...." Hekate said as she walked away. She stopped, turned and said, "That is, unless one of our neighbors or I decide to disable your alarm next."
The owner quickly moved their car and didn't come back.
The End
I seriously hate when visitors here park wherever the Hell they want and have annoying fucking alarms that go off at odd hours or they sit and play with their panic buttons for fun. Fucking assholes. They're lucky my kids didn't wake up or I would have bashed their car with a bat, my battle axe, and whatever else I got my hands on. My doc put me on a new med that's suppose to make me happy, instead it's made me sick, tired, twitchy, and pissed off even more, the last thing I need right now is some fuckers damned car alarm blaring all fucking night while I try to relax and possibly go comatose sometime around 2-3 am if I'm lucky! Seriously, Minions, don't be that person. EVER!
~Hekate
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Hekate's Crazy Fan
It was only a matter of time, Minions. And here I thought no one read my blog except a select few, and maybe a few misguided clicks. I, Hekate Jahi, have received my first "Crazy Fan". And not just your round of the mill crazy. I'm talking "There's a reason I stay anonymous and this is it" cray cray. Shall I tell you what was said?
WARNING! THE FOLLOWING IS EXPLICIT AND DISTURBING. DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE A WEAK CONSTITUTION!
Hekate, I am falling in love with you. You are EVERYTHING I want and need. You make my heart skip a beat when I read your words. Please don't deny me, you know you want me too. I can feel it! It's like you write for me and only me. You understand me like no other.
WARNING! THE FOLLOWING IS EXPLICIT AND DISTURBING. DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE A WEAK CONSTITUTION!
Hekate, I am falling in love with you. You are EVERYTHING I want and need. You make my heart skip a beat when I read your words. Please don't deny me, you know you want me too. I can feel it! It's like you write for me and only me. You understand me like no other.
-SHIT GETS INSANE NOW-
I want to put a funnel in your pussy, make you cum over and over. I want to bottle your sweet Heaven honey and drink it throughout the day. I would even use your juices on my salad as a dressing. I need you, and I know you need me too!! I masturbate to your words each and every night and day!! I want to worship at the temple that is Hekate's pussy! Take me to church every night!! Don't deny me your words and beauty!! I would die without you!!
Orion
Are you all done puking? I'm not...
Well, Orion, what can I say? I guess thank you for reading my blog? I'm glad you like, nay, love it? No, that's not right. Give me a minute to think of what I really want to say. I'm still dry heaving from the "juices on my salad" bit.
Dude, you've got some serious fucking issues! You are BEYOND bat shit crazy. You need to check yourself into the nearest metal hospital and have all sharp objects hidden from you. Thanks for thinking I'm beautiful, but you do realize that the picture here isn't me? Obviously not, you're too busy eating paste and jacking off to my blog. Wow. That thought made me vomit in my mouth...
Seriously, WTF is wrong with you?!? I'm too disturbed to even think of some smart ass shit to say. Thanks, you sick twisted fucktard. You have made the infamous Hekate speechless in a bad way. It's because of people like you that I stay anonymous and don't divulge my location or even hint at where I might be. I don't need some Private Pyle looking mother fucker showing up at my door, zip tying my hands and ankle together, duct taping my mouth, and placing funnels in any part of me trying to harvest any type of fluid. Damn! You're more twisted than anyone I have EVER known. Good job, shit stick.
I'm going to go scrub myself with bleach now and try to feel clean again.
~Hekate
Sunday, February 3, 2013
FINALLY!
I can now post from my iPad again! About fucking time, google.
So, a quick fill in of events taken place in the Goth home:
Xic is still waiting to hear from his dream job. It seems when you want people to hurry the fuck up they slow down even more. In the meantime he's been working crazy hours and shifts. Who the Hell schedules someone with two-year-olds running around their house for graveyard shifts every week? Seriously? The money's great but the hours suck ass.
Nyx and Nox have been reminding me several times a day that the "Terrible Twos" are here. HELP! Between the tantrums, meltdowns, hitting, pushing, stage diving practice, kicking the other off of things, and trying to be zombies (seriously, they try to chew through my skull), I'm going crazy! Someone pass me a bottle of something strong.
Mother Nature is being a whore this month. I'm either going to spontaneously combust, freeze to death, die from massive amounts of blood loss, or end up in the Psych Ward at the local hospital. I am counting down the days to Menopause! Can someone hit the fast forward button on that for me?
My mood swings are giving Xic whiplash. Hell, my mood swings make me want to punch MYSELF in the throat! But Xic isn't completely innocent either. Between his memory loss (he claims old age, I claim Man Syndrome), his own mood swings, crazy work schedule, and talking in his sleep, I don't get much sleep or time to relax. Though I do find out some interesting things from the conversations we have when he's asleep. (Word of advice: If you're a sleep talker, secrets come out. Like what you got your spouse for Christmas.)
So here I am, sitting in bed in the middle of the night when I should be sleeping, freezing my ass off (though that may not be a bad thing) while sweating, wishing I could just fucking sleep, writing this post, waiting for the weekend to be over with so I can make yet another pointless doctors appointment, and waiting for Xic to get home so I can sleep next to him for all of two hours, get up, make breakfast for the kids, and start my daily routine. I need a vacation!
On a good note, we did find a babysitter willing to watch the demon twins! Let's see how long that lasts..
~Hekate
So, a quick fill in of events taken place in the Goth home:
Xic is still waiting to hear from his dream job. It seems when you want people to hurry the fuck up they slow down even more. In the meantime he's been working crazy hours and shifts. Who the Hell schedules someone with two-year-olds running around their house for graveyard shifts every week? Seriously? The money's great but the hours suck ass.
Nyx and Nox have been reminding me several times a day that the "Terrible Twos" are here. HELP! Between the tantrums, meltdowns, hitting, pushing, stage diving practice, kicking the other off of things, and trying to be zombies (seriously, they try to chew through my skull), I'm going crazy! Someone pass me a bottle of something strong.
Mother Nature is being a whore this month. I'm either going to spontaneously combust, freeze to death, die from massive amounts of blood loss, or end up in the Psych Ward at the local hospital. I am counting down the days to Menopause! Can someone hit the fast forward button on that for me?
My mood swings are giving Xic whiplash. Hell, my mood swings make me want to punch MYSELF in the throat! But Xic isn't completely innocent either. Between his memory loss (he claims old age, I claim Man Syndrome), his own mood swings, crazy work schedule, and talking in his sleep, I don't get much sleep or time to relax. Though I do find out some interesting things from the conversations we have when he's asleep. (Word of advice: If you're a sleep talker, secrets come out. Like what you got your spouse for Christmas.)
So here I am, sitting in bed in the middle of the night when I should be sleeping, freezing my ass off (though that may not be a bad thing) while sweating, wishing I could just fucking sleep, writing this post, waiting for the weekend to be over with so I can make yet another pointless doctors appointment, and waiting for Xic to get home so I can sleep next to him for all of two hours, get up, make breakfast for the kids, and start my daily routine. I need a vacation!
On a good note, we did find a babysitter willing to watch the demon twins! Let's see how long that lasts..
~Hekate
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