Seriously Minions, we have some off the wall conversations by most people's standards. However, for us, this is all normal. Xic has never been to a strip club, so I had to ask. Hekate: Have you ever wanted to go to a strip club? Xic: *probably thinking this is a loaded question* No. Why pay for it? I have you. Hekate: Aww, thanks sweetie. But seriously. Never once thought about it? Xic: I thought about what it would be like, but never really about going. Hekate: What if we get a babysitter and go together? Xic: Uh... But how would you feel if some chick rubs her boobs in my face and gives me a lap dance? Hekate: Say I better be getting one too! Hello... I'm Bisexual. Xic: Okay, once we get a babysitter and some extra money. Hekate: Plus, we both get all turn on and then come home and fuck like rabbits. Xic: Wow, you could make a black man blush. Hekate: It's what I do.
Okay, recently I came out to my family and friends as being bisexual. Soon everyone will see why I didn't tell anyone for 16 fucking years! Good thing I don''t give a fuck who I piss off now and if you're reading this and find out it's about you, GOOD!
Okay, I called The Oracle and Matrix and let them know that I was bi. After shock and awe wore off it came to the "Okay, you're still you" state and then it was like nothing changed. Good right? You would think so...
So I posted on Facebook because I don't care who knows now. If you love and respect me, you'll support me no matter what I say. How the fuck ever if you want to be a fucking twatwaffle bitch who loves drama and lives for it, you Skype me. And this is what happened so far.
We'll call this "family" member Sassy. Sassy calls and I answer. Sassy then asks what I posted on Facebook. Knowing that she can clearly read it, I go ahead and answer her with "What, that I'm bisexual?" I then get a somewhat toned down version of why the fuck would I post it on Facebook. Who the fuck cares, bitch? I'm not ashamed and not hiding it anymore. Obviously I don't care if people know. I then get a broken up lecture of sorts about how "My family doesn't care, you are who you are" and how I'm, guessing, a bad person for not coming out sooner to my family. Again, you care and matter because...
Well I'm guessing I pissed her off with my reason for not coming out sooner: Fear of being exiled from my family and made to feel like I'm a horrible person. Keep in mind here I was in junior high when I knew, and felt like if I came out I would get kicked out of my house with nowhere to go. What would you do? Stay in the fucking closet is what I chose. My choice here, sweet cheeks. Oh, and no, that wasn't a fucking come on. Sorry, but you don't do it for me. No hard feelings, right?
Okay, your family is understanding. Mine was not at the time. Get it? If I was in your family, I wouldn't have felt the need to hide it. In my family, I felt it was better to keep it secret. Oh, are you bisexual? Are you gay? No? Then how the fuck do you expect to relate to what I'm feeling at any given fucking moment here, twat? Yeah, shut the fuck up, sit down, and keep your damn mouth shut until I'm fucking done. Oh, and I do have the fucking balls to say all of this to your face. Not over Skype, not over the phone, not email, not just here, not Facebook... IN. PERSON. You already know I can get pissed. I believe I shut you up once or twice before when you though I was a pansy ass pushover. See, I let you see only what I wanted you to see. It's called a bluff. Your's sucks. Just sayin'.
Anyway, as I'm about to fucking explain to this mother fucking twit why I did what I did, the call breaks up and drops. Well, maybe. I she could have just played like it was breaking up and just hung up because she wants to play Billie Bad Ass to her "fiance'". Whatever, don't care. But let me say this: People like you are why I didn't say anything. Because even though Xic knows, my family knows now, and your family as well, you are the only one who seems to have a problem with it. So what if I waited 16, 17, or 30 fucking years? The only one giving me grief about it is YOU. Now, ask me how many fucks I give. Uh, none. You know why? Because YOU don't matter to ME. You are nothing. You bitch about how Xic doesn't call you... Could it be that he has no respect for you because you're a drop out, ex-stripper, pot head who seems to pick fights with his wife? No? Maybe it's because you're nothing but drama? No? Oh, I know! Because you're just a bitch that doesn't really matter to us! Again, no hard feelings, right?
Oh, just to be clear: I. DO. NOT. WANT. TO. LICK. YOUR. PANOOCH. Got it? Good. Now piss off, wanker!
