Hello again, Minions. I know I've been lacking in the blogging area as well as my Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram posts. What can I say, life is crazy sometimes. And when you have demon twins that tag team the tantrums during the terrible twos you end up most days wondering "Where the Hell is the Tequila?"
One of the few things that I do is game. I'm one of the gamers that plays a wide variety genres. I play table top RPGs, MMORPGs, card based games, mind benders, dance, pretty much anything. I play apps on my iPhone and iPad as well. This post is about one of those apps and a guy who just doesn't understand you don't mess with Hekate and her games.
The app: Rage of Bahamut
Game type: Card based battle/Fantasy
In RoB we have events called Holy Wars. You battle other orders in the effort to rank highest in the world to get the uber cards. The way it works is one member will declare war and the search is on for an order that is similar in size as yours. Common sense dictates that you make sure other order members are online and ready for battle before you declare war. You ask on the forum, KiK, Palringo, Line, Text, or whatever method you choose to make contact with as many members as you can. But there's always that one person who doesn't think.
Mobage account Godzrule76 Remember that screen name, for that is the one fucktard who wrecks havoc by being blissfully ignorant. This guy joins the order I'm in the day the Holy Wars started. No big deal, right? WRONG! This kid declares war, no big deal, except no one was on to fight. We lose. He declares another, hits one person one time, no one else is on, we lose. Declares another, hits once, a few people are on, we win by a few points. This kid declared every single war yesterday and all but one so far today, hit once or twice when he did fight, and never once paid any attention to the forum wall or his own news feed of us, including yours truly, saying "Knock that shit off, douchewaffle!" Okay, so we can't say that in the game because it gets censored, but you can bet your sweet ass I was thinking it and typed it a few times before I settled on calling him a jerkoff.
Now this kid (face it, anyone younger than me is a kid) messaged the order leader in Facebook apologizing and pleading that he just "didn't know how Holy Wars work", so I won't blast his real name and Facebook profile. This time. Yeah, I must be getting old. I'm going soft. Damn it.
So to close this post, I'm going to say everything I was thinking and wanted to say to him in game:
Godzrule76, What the fuck is your problem, dickweed? What gives you the right to declare war after war after war and not do a damn thing, fucker? Seriously?! And only because you see now that we're pissed off do you try to kiss ass and apologize? The fuck, asshole? Do you ever fucking sleep? Cheese and rice! As soon as one war ends you declare another! What the Hell is wrong with you? OMFG If I could reach you, I'd fucking throttle you while Xic or the order leader sold tickets for people to watch! (Hey, gotta make money somehow). Think a chick can't hit? Ask Xic. I don't do that scratching, hair pulling thing bitches do. Hell no! I'm a curb stop your ass, if you have hair I use it to slam your face and head on the ground only to pull you back up to punch you and repeat kind of chick! I take my games seriously, and I'm competitive as fuck! I want to win, and your leeching ass is just dragging me down! Now either back the fuck off or man the fuck up and fight with us instead of making us lose, asshole!
~Hekate
Friday, January 18, 2013
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Dear Apartment Complex:
I am writing this blog/letter/complaint to you and for everyone who has to deal with places like you.
Let's be honest here, the only reason Xic and I decided to move into your place was because all of our other options were either craptacular places or in banjo picking territory. We signed the lease and have followed all the rules to date. We told you when we moved in that we had two cars, you said "No problem. If your garage is full, like most people here, you can park one car in front of the garage and the other in one of the spots on the side." Awesome! No big deal. And then my car crapped out. So Xic and I moved it to the street to open a spot for someone else. We didn't park in that spot for months. One neighbor thought I actually left Xic and took the kids with me. That's how long that spot was open. No one parked there. EVER.
Last month Xic bought me a new car for Christmas. We came back home on December 21st with two cars. I parked in front of the garage and Xic parked in the other spot that no one used. Made more since since he works and leaves almost every day. Guess what happens when he leaves? No one parks in that spot.
You and all your employees drive by here often. You see we're always on the move. So why did you feel the need to leave a note on our door this morning before your office even opened saying we are contributing to the parking problem at our building? Someone fucking complained and I know just what pussy ass, coward bitch said shit too. The middle aged hermit, dried up bitch on the ground floor. We're the only people with two cars, so I know it was directed toward us. Why write a fucking letter? Why not just, oh I don't know, ASK us. Xic works the graveyard shift this week and next but I am always home. You have our number, you could have called and told us that someone was complaining, though I don't know why. What, is she expecting and over sized dildo to be delivered? Because I know for a fact that old smokey back there doesn't get any fucking visitors. Troll face couldn't pay people to visit her! Even Hell Hound runs when he sees her! The fucking community cat wouldn't even go near her and hissed at her when she looked at him! The fuck does that tell you?
I am so fucking glad that we found a new place to move to and can't wait for our lease to be up! Sure we'd have to pay $50 more a month for rent, but we'd get an extra bedroom, more square feet, a patio/balcony, storage room, they have three pools, a hot tub, a tanning bed, fitness center, theater, a playground, and on site movie rental. You don't even have a pool. All you have is... Wait, I know this... OH! A water hose you call a car wash. Gee, I'm so going to miss living here.
I will come back to visit one of my neighbors, though. That will be the only thing I actually miss.
~Hekate
P.S. Have fun with the carpet in Nyx and Nox's room. When they were sick, they puked and shit on the carpet. LMAO Then there's always the door they tore down. >=D
Let's be honest here, the only reason Xic and I decided to move into your place was because all of our other options were either craptacular places or in banjo picking territory. We signed the lease and have followed all the rules to date. We told you when we moved in that we had two cars, you said "No problem. If your garage is full, like most people here, you can park one car in front of the garage and the other in one of the spots on the side." Awesome! No big deal. And then my car crapped out. So Xic and I moved it to the street to open a spot for someone else. We didn't park in that spot for months. One neighbor thought I actually left Xic and took the kids with me. That's how long that spot was open. No one parked there. EVER.
Last month Xic bought me a new car for Christmas. We came back home on December 21st with two cars. I parked in front of the garage and Xic parked in the other spot that no one used. Made more since since he works and leaves almost every day. Guess what happens when he leaves? No one parks in that spot.
You and all your employees drive by here often. You see we're always on the move. So why did you feel the need to leave a note on our door this morning before your office even opened saying we are contributing to the parking problem at our building? Someone fucking complained and I know just what pussy ass, coward bitch said shit too. The middle aged hermit, dried up bitch on the ground floor. We're the only people with two cars, so I know it was directed toward us. Why write a fucking letter? Why not just, oh I don't know, ASK us. Xic works the graveyard shift this week and next but I am always home. You have our number, you could have called and told us that someone was complaining, though I don't know why. What, is she expecting and over sized dildo to be delivered? Because I know for a fact that old smokey back there doesn't get any fucking visitors. Troll face couldn't pay people to visit her! Even Hell Hound runs when he sees her! The fucking community cat wouldn't even go near her and hissed at her when she looked at him! The fuck does that tell you?
I am so fucking glad that we found a new place to move to and can't wait for our lease to be up! Sure we'd have to pay $50 more a month for rent, but we'd get an extra bedroom, more square feet, a patio/balcony, storage room, they have three pools, a hot tub, a tanning bed, fitness center, theater, a playground, and on site movie rental. You don't even have a pool. All you have is... Wait, I know this... OH! A water hose you call a car wash. Gee, I'm so going to miss living here.
I will come back to visit one of my neighbors, though. That will be the only thing I actually miss.
~Hekate
P.S. Have fun with the carpet in Nyx and Nox's room. When they were sick, they puked and shit on the carpet. LMAO Then there's always the door they tore down. >=D
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Holidays and Hekate
Oh Minions, I'm sure by now everyone has been wondering what has become of your beloved Goth Mom over the holidays. Well, you're in luck. I'm about to spin a story for you that will have you saying, "Maybe my family isn't that bad after all!"
Let's start with Thanksgiving. Well, we traveled 5 1/2 hours a few days before to visit family since Xic had to work on Thanksgiving. If Nyx wasn't crying, Nox was. When they finally fell asleep we had to wake them up to eat lunch. Never, I repeat, NEVER wake a sleeping toddler Well, unless you want to deal with screaming and crying for 3 hours. We make it to our destination and what followed was semi fun and frustrating as fuck. I visited with my aunt I hadn't seen in 23 years. That as the fun part. Me being the big kid I am, I sat in her lap and she rocked me like she use to when I was a kid. Stop laughing fuckers! I'm still a bad ass, my aunt is just that fucking awesome. We drive back home and I have to make Thanksgiving dinner while Xic is working. I'll say this: My Hekate Original Brine fucking rocks. Best. Turkey. EVER.
Fast forward to December. Christmas is usually a fun time. Usually. The week before Christmas I almost got taken out by some bad cheese. Sounds lame, right? Yeah, keep reading... I have allergies. Mushrooms, tree nuts, Penicillin, stuff like that. So why was I almost taken out by cheese? It was in the beginning stages of mold. What is mold but home grown Penicillin. Why did I eat moldy cheese? Funny thing you ask. It didn't look molded, didn't smell moldy, and it didn't taste like it either. It was in the very early stage of it. Me being the sensitive one, I broke out in hives and started having trouble breathing. So 40 minutes and an ambulance ride later I was given EpiPens and told to stop taking my seizure meds because it could make it worse. Awesome.
Later that day Nyx tossed her cookies. Twice. I thought it was just stress of the EMTs being there, turns out my little table licker got sick from licking a table at the pizza place we went to the day before. Luckily it lasted a day. Bad news is she gave it to Nox. Nox was worse. Nyx slept most of the time she was sick and wanted to be held. Nox, not so much. She stayed awake for 24 hours and went into rage mode. She didn't want to be touched, held, comforted, or be left alone. After 24 hours, she crashed and crashed hard. She was feeling better the next day. Me, not so much. I got sick around the same time as Nox, but mine lasted 2-3 days. I don't really remember too much except it was the first time in a long time that I drank just water. If you know me, you know I don't drink plain water. But all was well after a few days and everyone is back to our normal.
So now it's a new year, Nyx and Nox are 2, Verin is turning 10, and I've got a birthday coming up soon. All I want is to get my hair dyed black with red streaks again. That's it. Yeah, I'm simple. Plus Xic got me a new tattoo and a new car for Christmas so what else could I possibly want or need? Okay, a Zombie Themed birthday party would be nice too... Mmm... BRAINS!
~Hekate
Let's start with Thanksgiving. Well, we traveled 5 1/2 hours a few days before to visit family since Xic had to work on Thanksgiving. If Nyx wasn't crying, Nox was. When they finally fell asleep we had to wake them up to eat lunch. Never, I repeat, NEVER wake a sleeping toddler Well, unless you want to deal with screaming and crying for 3 hours. We make it to our destination and what followed was semi fun and frustrating as fuck. I visited with my aunt I hadn't seen in 23 years. That as the fun part. Me being the big kid I am, I sat in her lap and she rocked me like she use to when I was a kid. Stop laughing fuckers! I'm still a bad ass, my aunt is just that fucking awesome. We drive back home and I have to make Thanksgiving dinner while Xic is working. I'll say this: My Hekate Original Brine fucking rocks. Best. Turkey. EVER.
Fast forward to December. Christmas is usually a fun time. Usually. The week before Christmas I almost got taken out by some bad cheese. Sounds lame, right? Yeah, keep reading... I have allergies. Mushrooms, tree nuts, Penicillin, stuff like that. So why was I almost taken out by cheese? It was in the beginning stages of mold. What is mold but home grown Penicillin. Why did I eat moldy cheese? Funny thing you ask. It didn't look molded, didn't smell moldy, and it didn't taste like it either. It was in the very early stage of it. Me being the sensitive one, I broke out in hives and started having trouble breathing. So 40 minutes and an ambulance ride later I was given EpiPens and told to stop taking my seizure meds because it could make it worse. Awesome.
Later that day Nyx tossed her cookies. Twice. I thought it was just stress of the EMTs being there, turns out my little table licker got sick from licking a table at the pizza place we went to the day before. Luckily it lasted a day. Bad news is she gave it to Nox. Nox was worse. Nyx slept most of the time she was sick and wanted to be held. Nox, not so much. She stayed awake for 24 hours and went into rage mode. She didn't want to be touched, held, comforted, or be left alone. After 24 hours, she crashed and crashed hard. She was feeling better the next day. Me, not so much. I got sick around the same time as Nox, but mine lasted 2-3 days. I don't really remember too much except it was the first time in a long time that I drank just water. If you know me, you know I don't drink plain water. But all was well after a few days and everyone is back to our normal.
So now it's a new year, Nyx and Nox are 2, Verin is turning 10, and I've got a birthday coming up soon. All I want is to get my hair dyed black with red streaks again. That's it. Yeah, I'm simple. Plus Xic got me a new tattoo and a new car for Christmas so what else could I possibly want or need? Okay, a Zombie Themed birthday party would be nice too... Mmm... BRAINS!
~Hekate
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
DEF-CON 4 Epic
Yesterday produced such a wonderful topic to rant about, Minions. So I had to take time out of the busy holiday season to post this rant for your entertainment and to keep me from giving some douchewaffle who needs to put on their big boy pants and grow a fucking pair a subdural hematoma.
Xic works a security detail and a federal building where we live. He's 6'3 (or 6'4" depending on who measures him) and has arms bigger than my head. He was a military cop so I get he can be intimidating to some, but someone in the building he works at reported him. FOR DOING HIS FUCKING JOB. As if reporting him wasn't enough, the shit went DEF-CON 4 Epic. So what happened? Keep reading, I can't even begin to make this shit up...
Xic does his normal duties for security detail. Checks bags, runs the X-ray machine, patrols floors, responds to alarms or complaints, blah, blah, fucking blah. One of the requirements post 9-11 for a majority, if not all, federal buildings is to remove your shoes, belts, everything from your pockets... No big deal when it comes to safety, right? Suck it up and blame the terrorists and people trying to carry knives and shit into the building.
If you fail to comply to the instructions, you are told to comply and more or less warned that failure to comply can result in being asked to leave the premises to being arrested depending on your fucking attitude. Again, just fucking suck that shit up and take off your damn shoes.
If you continue to bitch and moan because you don't want people to see your webbed feet and sixth toe, the guards can get gruff and tell you in not so many words you're being a douche and they can fuck your shit up if you continue being a complete ass. This is where the report comes in.
Some little bitch ass, would be man reported Xic for being too intimidating. To his friend. A Senator. Really? You tattled to a Senator? You have issues, dude. I should kick your ass for being a bitch. But that's far from the end. I said DEF-CON 4 Epic.
This Senator felt compelled to send this shit further up. How far up? THE WHITE HOUSE. Really?! Now I could understand if we lived in D.C. or something, but we don't. Far from it. Thousands of miles from it.
So my husband gets reported all the way up to the fucking White House for being too intimidating? What kind of pansy ass, tit sucking, mommy's little bitch are you? I bet your ass broke down crying and wet yourself too. Pussy. Nyx and Nox have more balls than you and they're only 2. And GIRLS at that! Seriously, you're a waste of fucking oxygen. Cry yourself a river, build a fucking bridge, and get the fuck over it. Seriously, if I ever see you, I may punch you on principal.
~Hekate
Xic works a security detail and a federal building where we live. He's 6'3 (or 6'4" depending on who measures him) and has arms bigger than my head. He was a military cop so I get he can be intimidating to some, but someone in the building he works at reported him. FOR DOING HIS FUCKING JOB. As if reporting him wasn't enough, the shit went DEF-CON 4 Epic. So what happened? Keep reading, I can't even begin to make this shit up...
Xic does his normal duties for security detail. Checks bags, runs the X-ray machine, patrols floors, responds to alarms or complaints, blah, blah, fucking blah. One of the requirements post 9-11 for a majority, if not all, federal buildings is to remove your shoes, belts, everything from your pockets... No big deal when it comes to safety, right? Suck it up and blame the terrorists and people trying to carry knives and shit into the building.
If you fail to comply to the instructions, you are told to comply and more or less warned that failure to comply can result in being asked to leave the premises to being arrested depending on your fucking attitude. Again, just fucking suck that shit up and take off your damn shoes.
If you continue to bitch and moan because you don't want people to see your webbed feet and sixth toe, the guards can get gruff and tell you in not so many words you're being a douche and they can fuck your shit up if you continue being a complete ass. This is where the report comes in.
Some little bitch ass, would be man reported Xic for being too intimidating. To his friend. A Senator. Really? You tattled to a Senator? You have issues, dude. I should kick your ass for being a bitch. But that's far from the end. I said DEF-CON 4 Epic.
This Senator felt compelled to send this shit further up. How far up? THE WHITE HOUSE. Really?! Now I could understand if we lived in D.C. or something, but we don't. Far from it. Thousands of miles from it.
So my husband gets reported all the way up to the fucking White House for being too intimidating? What kind of pansy ass, tit sucking, mommy's little bitch are you? I bet your ass broke down crying and wet yourself too. Pussy. Nyx and Nox have more balls than you and they're only 2. And GIRLS at that! Seriously, you're a waste of fucking oxygen. Cry yourself a river, build a fucking bridge, and get the fuck over it. Seriously, if I ever see you, I may punch you on principal.
~Hekate
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Why I've Been MIA
Yes, Minions, you're beloved Goth Mom has taken a leave of absence for quite some time now. Why? Where do I start?
I have been sick. And tired. And sick and tired of being sick and tired. On top of that, Xic has been working crazy fucking schedules that have us all running around wondering when the fuck things will slow down, if ever. Plus add on the holidays that are here and you have craziness in itself. Add to that demon twins that have entered the oh-so-loved terrible twos. Sprinkle on a bit of family drama and you have a glimpse of my life right now. Fun, right? It gets better...
We're still waiting for the call about Xic's dream job, dealing with "You have insurance. You don't. You do.", doctors still insisting my back problem is still just my leg ,whom I have not gone back to seen since the whole torture session was set up, didn't have that done either, trying to find a dentist that will actually take our insurance and see the demon twins, and dealing with Nox either not adjusting to Xic's schedule and wants more time with him or is now afraid of the dark, and we have a ghost in our house. Seriously. Not making this shit up here. And it may be more than one.
What makes me think we have a ghost? Xic went to open the bedroom door for the twins when he hear, clear as day, "Daddy, let me out!" For those who know the twins, they don't talk that clearly yet. They still babble in their demonic twin speak language that sometimes gives us all chills. Also, things have gone missing and reappear right where it should have been and we just looked. Like what? Keys, wallets, coats, and food. Sloppy Joes and chili cheese dogs leave a trace if someone takes them off your plate. And when you're the only one in the house that can reach the counter and it goes missing and then is right back where it was (right next to the stove, not hard to just miss), shit's going on! One also grabbed my foot the other night and turned it ice cold. It was at least 75 in our room and I was under a heated blanket.
To top it all off, I'm still pissed off that I can't post a blog from my iPad! Fix it, people! I don't feel like lugging my heavy ass laptop with me to visit family and friends! And no, I refuse to get a new light weight laptop. I love my Alienware. I'm a gamer and it meets or exceeds my needs.
~Hekate
Monday, November 5, 2012
The Fuck?!
Rant time, Minions. Hope you're ready for this!
Xic is in the reserves. He used to be active duty but since got out and plays weekend warrior. Now the military has exercises to keep them sharp. No big deal, right? Well it wasn't until what I heard last night. OPSEC be damned:
Military use to hold live fire exercises (real ammo shot during these training periods) until the 80's. why did they stop? Because too many people were getting killed. Seriously, our guys were shooting live ammo at targets yet hitting their own guys. So since then, 30 years ago, they haven't had live ammo exercises.
Our guys go overseas and get shot at by the other side every day. Some are lucky enough to not have to go on tours or get cushy jobs over there. Or guys have firing to keep them efficient with their weapons. They hold exercises at random times and treat it as a real world experience complete with casualties (special effect make-up used here).
So what has me worked up today? Well, I get notified by Xic that now they're bringing back live fire exercises! The fuck, guys? Seriously, our guys getting shot at on foreign soil isn't enough? Now you want to bring back the type of exercise that has our guys shooting live ammo? You're trusting some of these punk wannabe Rambo weekend warriors to not shoot their buddies? What the fuck happens if one freaks out and sprays all over the fucking place? "Collateral damage"? What the fuck do you tell the wives, husbands, kids, parents of the ones who get shot? Your (fill in the blank) was shot during a training exercise this weekend. Friendly fucking fire right here in the states. You want them to train and make sure they're hitting the right target, give them paint balls first! Those fuckers hurt and you know if you're on target.
"They were protective gear, ma'am. There are measures in place to make sure..." Blah blah fucking blah. BULLSHIT! That helmet you give them doesn't stop a stray fucking bullet. Got anything to protect their necks? Didn't think so.
I know our guys get shot every day in war zones. I know our police force get fired upon every day. Why the fuck should we risk our guys getting shot because you think they need more practice? Guess what I think will happen... People will die because some fuck up wannabe hero will start showing off and shit will happen and you'll have to stop the live fire again after getting yelled at by a bunch of pissed off spouses and parents. On top of that, you'll be losing a shit ton of people due to PTSD and lower enlistments than normal.
Have fun with that, guys. I just hope Xic gets his Sleep Apnea claim approved since the fucker likes to quit breathing 34 times a damn night on average. Seriously, he had a sleep study done and they're putting him on an APAP machine for "Severe Sleep Apnea". So now not only do I have to worry and lose sleep because he stops breathing every fucking night, I now have to worry about some dip shit, snot nosed noob shooting him over the fucking weekend at training. Awesome. My solid 2 hours of sleep will become a good 30 minutes now. Fuckers.
Xic is in the reserves. He used to be active duty but since got out and plays weekend warrior. Now the military has exercises to keep them sharp. No big deal, right? Well it wasn't until what I heard last night. OPSEC be damned:
Military use to hold live fire exercises (real ammo shot during these training periods) until the 80's. why did they stop? Because too many people were getting killed. Seriously, our guys were shooting live ammo at targets yet hitting their own guys. So since then, 30 years ago, they haven't had live ammo exercises.
Our guys go overseas and get shot at by the other side every day. Some are lucky enough to not have to go on tours or get cushy jobs over there. Or guys have firing to keep them efficient with their weapons. They hold exercises at random times and treat it as a real world experience complete with casualties (special effect make-up used here).
So what has me worked up today? Well, I get notified by Xic that now they're bringing back live fire exercises! The fuck, guys? Seriously, our guys getting shot at on foreign soil isn't enough? Now you want to bring back the type of exercise that has our guys shooting live ammo? You're trusting some of these punk wannabe Rambo weekend warriors to not shoot their buddies? What the fuck happens if one freaks out and sprays all over the fucking place? "Collateral damage"? What the fuck do you tell the wives, husbands, kids, parents of the ones who get shot? Your (fill in the blank) was shot during a training exercise this weekend. Friendly fucking fire right here in the states. You want them to train and make sure they're hitting the right target, give them paint balls first! Those fuckers hurt and you know if you're on target.
"They were protective gear, ma'am. There are measures in place to make sure..." Blah blah fucking blah. BULLSHIT! That helmet you give them doesn't stop a stray fucking bullet. Got anything to protect their necks? Didn't think so.
I know our guys get shot every day in war zones. I know our police force get fired upon every day. Why the fuck should we risk our guys getting shot because you think they need more practice? Guess what I think will happen... People will die because some fuck up wannabe hero will start showing off and shit will happen and you'll have to stop the live fire again after getting yelled at by a bunch of pissed off spouses and parents. On top of that, you'll be losing a shit ton of people due to PTSD and lower enlistments than normal.
Have fun with that, guys. I just hope Xic gets his Sleep Apnea claim approved since the fucker likes to quit breathing 34 times a damn night on average. Seriously, he had a sleep study done and they're putting him on an APAP machine for "Severe Sleep Apnea". So now not only do I have to worry and lose sleep because he stops breathing every fucking night, I now have to worry about some dip shit, snot nosed noob shooting him over the fucking weekend at training. Awesome. My solid 2 hours of sleep will become a good 30 minutes now. Fuckers.
~Hekate
P.S. I hate that I can't post shit from my iPad anymore and copying form my email forces me to highlight and change the text.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Lunch at the Mall...
Going to the mall for lunch on a rainy day is a treat for us. The kids can play inside at the play area they have, thus tiring them out and making for easy bedtime. Normally our lunch dates are uneventful. Today was different. Come with me on this "I'm going to spork someone's eyes out" journey...
Xic is hot. Really, REALLY hot. He's also my polar opposite. He's the normal guy and I'm, well... Goth. Now I know my husband is eye candy, but there's a point where it becomes too much. Case in point: Bleach Blonde Bitch with Less than A Tits and a Kid on the Hip.
Now Bleachy was checking Xic out. Hard core. It was so bad that he noticed it. That's saying something. Xic doesn't notice when chick are eyeing him up like he's some Greek God they must claim as their own. I notice, though. All the fucking time. Bleachy wasn't even trying to hide it.
Now a guy spending time with his kids is sexy in itself. Watching a hot guy feeding his kids from his plate of Chinese food is probably sensory overload. When said kids happen to be twin girls who are playing the "I'm cute and I know it" card on daddy, hearts melt and panties get wet. I should know. I was sitting across from Xic as this was going on. Which is what made me get somewhat twitchy faced as Bleachy eyed him up and down like she wanted to play the MILF card on my DILF.
He's a clue, Bleachy: If the guy you're eyeing up and down like he's an all you can eat buffet and he cringes without even looking up at you, you're giving off that creepy, Fatal Attraction vibe. and should just move on.
Now when the guy you're eyeing up is also sitting across from a woman who isn't his mother, doesn't look like his sister, and the kids he's feeding look like a mix of DILF and her, chances are it's his wife or girlfriend. He's another clue to look for: WEDDING RINGS. His was easy to spot since he eats left handed and mine isn't exactly small. Just sayin'.
Now if that wasn't enough to put me in an eye sporking mood what happened next was serious "Twitchy Face, Clinched Fists" worthy...
Bleachy moves on just as I asked Xic if I should spork her eyes out and then comes loads of stares and cringing faces. Apparently people in our town haven't seen a Goth before. Or maybe they're use to seeing Goths with "Their own kind". Then again, they may have thought I was going to eat Nyx and Nox... Either way, it came to me saying "Take a fucking picture, it lasts longer. Oh, I'm sorry, does my look offend you? Then don't fucking look at me, bitch!"
Older people I can forgive because they wonder what's wrong with the youth, but when the older people are saying to us "Oh, what cute babies. You two make such beautiful kids" and the younger crowd is making faces when they look at me makes my blood boil and I lose my cool.
I'm use to stares and whispers. I've dealt with it since I was a kid. It doesn't bother me. What bothers the fuck out of me is when you face a disgusted face at me for the way I'm dressed and my black lipstick when your ass looks like they rolled out of the fucking gutter after taking a facial from no less than 20 fucking guys and smell like 3 week old ass and sweat. Then you have the nerve to tell your 50 rolled friend with the Doritos crumbs on their face and the, what I can only assume, grease stain on their shirt that you "Can't believe she walks around like that and he let's her". Seriously, Cum Dumpster? So yeah, of course I'm going to tell you, in a not so polite voice, to shut your fucking mouth and keep walking before I spork a bitch. Next time you want to say something about the way someone is dressed, look in the fucking mirror and make sure to wipe the cum off your face. Oh, and tell your friend to stop wearing mid drift shirts. I had fucking nightmares last night.
~Hekate
Xic is hot. Really, REALLY hot. He's also my polar opposite. He's the normal guy and I'm, well... Goth. Now I know my husband is eye candy, but there's a point where it becomes too much. Case in point: Bleach Blonde Bitch with Less than A Tits and a Kid on the Hip.
Now Bleachy was checking Xic out. Hard core. It was so bad that he noticed it. That's saying something. Xic doesn't notice when chick are eyeing him up like he's some Greek God they must claim as their own. I notice, though. All the fucking time. Bleachy wasn't even trying to hide it.
Now a guy spending time with his kids is sexy in itself. Watching a hot guy feeding his kids from his plate of Chinese food is probably sensory overload. When said kids happen to be twin girls who are playing the "I'm cute and I know it" card on daddy, hearts melt and panties get wet. I should know. I was sitting across from Xic as this was going on. Which is what made me get somewhat twitchy faced as Bleachy eyed him up and down like she wanted to play the MILF card on my DILF.
He's a clue, Bleachy: If the guy you're eyeing up and down like he's an all you can eat buffet and he cringes without even looking up at you, you're giving off that creepy, Fatal Attraction vibe. and should just move on.
Now when the guy you're eyeing up is also sitting across from a woman who isn't his mother, doesn't look like his sister, and the kids he's feeding look like a mix of DILF and her, chances are it's his wife or girlfriend. He's another clue to look for: WEDDING RINGS. His was easy to spot since he eats left handed and mine isn't exactly small. Just sayin'.
Now if that wasn't enough to put me in an eye sporking mood what happened next was serious "Twitchy Face, Clinched Fists" worthy...
Bleachy moves on just as I asked Xic if I should spork her eyes out and then comes loads of stares and cringing faces. Apparently people in our town haven't seen a Goth before. Or maybe they're use to seeing Goths with "Their own kind". Then again, they may have thought I was going to eat Nyx and Nox... Either way, it came to me saying "Take a fucking picture, it lasts longer. Oh, I'm sorry, does my look offend you? Then don't fucking look at me, bitch!"
Older people I can forgive because they wonder what's wrong with the youth, but when the older people are saying to us "Oh, what cute babies. You two make such beautiful kids" and the younger crowd is making faces when they look at me makes my blood boil and I lose my cool.
I'm use to stares and whispers. I've dealt with it since I was a kid. It doesn't bother me. What bothers the fuck out of me is when you face a disgusted face at me for the way I'm dressed and my black lipstick when your ass looks like they rolled out of the fucking gutter after taking a facial from no less than 20 fucking guys and smell like 3 week old ass and sweat. Then you have the nerve to tell your 50 rolled friend with the Doritos crumbs on their face and the, what I can only assume, grease stain on their shirt that you "Can't believe she walks around like that and he let's her". Seriously, Cum Dumpster? So yeah, of course I'm going to tell you, in a not so polite voice, to shut your fucking mouth and keep walking before I spork a bitch. Next time you want to say something about the way someone is dressed, look in the fucking mirror and make sure to wipe the cum off your face. Oh, and tell your friend to stop wearing mid drift shirts. I had fucking nightmares last night.
~Hekate
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