Friday, February 22, 2013

Car Alarm Rage

Minions, promise me you will NEVER be the person with the annoying car alarm that goes off repeatedly. Promise? Good. Now, time for a bedtime rant from your favorite Goth Mom.

Once upon a time in the land of the Goths there was a Goth Mom named Hekate. One dark, rainy night her husband, Xic, had to work a graveyard shift. This was nothing new to the Goth family, as it was just about every weekend that Xic's evil, maniacal boss scheduled him for this particular shift because he's a condescending fucktard who treats all his employees like they're five-year-old children.

On this night, after the Gothlings were in bed, Xic was getting ready for work when it happened. A car alarm went off. The constant honking of the horn was rather annoying. Xic tried to ask Hekate something, but she couldn't hear him over the fucking horn beeping over and over again. After about three minutes, give or take, the alarm stopped and all was well again. Until....

*BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!* The alarm started again an hour after Xic had left. Hekate was somewhat annoyed now, since it was getting late and she was trying to watch a movie. The alarm stopped after 10 agonizing minutes and Hekate resumed watching her movie.

*BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!* Again the alarm started just a few minutes after it stopped. Over and over the horn blared. And the lights flashed. As soon as it would stop, it started again. NINE. FUCKING. TIMES. 

"Who the fuck owns this car?" Hekate wondered aloud. "Fucking noisy ass, piece of shit! I'm recording this bitch now!" and she proceede to take out her phone and record the nuisance when the owner appeared. 

"Uh... What do you think you're doing?" Said the twatwaffle owner. "You can't just take picture of my car!"

"Oh, I wasn't taking pictures, I was about to record your car since you obviously don't know how to control ten alarm on it and show it to the owners of the complex. That way if they get a call on you again, your car will be towed...." Hekate said as she walked away. She stopped, turned and said, "That is, unless one of our neighbors or I decide to disable your alarm next." 

The owner quickly moved their car and didn't come back. 

The End

I seriously hate when visitors here park wherever the Hell they want and have annoying fucking alarms that go off at odd hours or they sit and play with their panic buttons for fun. Fucking assholes. They're lucky my kids didn't wake up or I would have bashed their car with a bat, my battle axe, and whatever else I got my hands on. My doc put me on a new med that's suppose to make me happy, instead it's made me sick, tired, twitchy, and pissed off even more, the last thing I need right now is some fuckers damned car alarm blaring all fucking night while I try to relax and possibly go comatose sometime around 2-3 am if I'm lucky!  Seriously, Minions, don't be that person. EVER!