Thursday, September 13, 2012

The Return of the Twitchy Face and Clinched Fists.

As if waking up before Xic's alarm went off this morning (about 5:40 am) wasn't bad enough, shortly after 6 our lovely neighbors decided it would be a great time to play musical fucking cars. This game is played by douchewaffles and twatwaffles. The rules are simple. 

  1. Turn your craptacular music up so loud it rattles windows a mile away and makes your car vibrate harder and faster than your mom's Pocket Rocket. 
  2. Make sure your friend does the same so it's in stereo. 
  3. Go from car to car slamming the doors every five seconds making sure to wake everyone in your neighborhood up including babies and toddlers. Let's face it, parents don't need sleep, right?
  4. Make sure you rev your engine and speed off just as the last baby/toddler screams out because they were woken up far before they were ready to be.

The last part is important, because if you don't speed off, you're probably going to encounter a very pissed off mom or dad that may or may not slam your head into the window of your car, punch you in the fucking throat, slam your head in the door two or 20 times, and proceed to bitch slap you while the rest of your neighbors cheer them on.

So heed my warning douchers everywhere. Next time think about what your doing, because you never know when a parent of a pissed off kid might repel down the side of their house ninja style and beat the shit out of you and then vanish just as quick.

Now I have to deal with two very pissed off toddlers who could not go back to sleep and won't nap until around 11 (if I'm lucky). All vocalization of what they want has gone from short words and signs to screams, grunts, and whines. No amount of toys, music, or hugs make this any better, so I will follow suit and throw an all out hissy fucking fit with them until nap time.

Again, thank you neighbors. And remember, payback's a bitch. 


Wednesday, September 12, 2012

The Date is Set...

3 OCT 2012 at 3:00 pm I will undergo one of the most torturous tests in the medical world. An EMG (Electormyogram/ Nerve conduction study). They will be shoving a fucking needle into my muscles and near nerves and shocking them with electricity to check for any abnormalities. Sounds fun, right? Yeah, real fucking fun. I had one of these done back in 2007 and the damn thing made me twitch and have seizures for the rest of the fucking day. 

So why am I having another one done? Because Dr. Fucker decided to order one and if I don't get it done, he can (and probably would) drop me as a patient. Why do I care? Because I need my seizure meds and there are no other doctors in our area right now accepting new patients. Great. Fuck my luck.

"But Hekate, I thought you were a bad ass who didn't care?" I don't care about fucking idiots and what they think. However when it comes to shoving damned needles repeatedly into my leg and shocking the fuck out of the muscles and nerves I care. I have to take care of my Gothlings and I can't do that very fucking well when Xic is at work and I'm twitching like a motherfucking addict or seizing, now can I? But do these fucking doctors give two shits? No. "Why not schedule it for when Xic is off?" You fuckers think I didn't think of that? The problem is the first available appointment is on a day he works and the one I scheduled for is unknown because they haven't made it that far ahead yet. "Why not get help from family or friends?" Uh, maybe because most of my family lives 5 hours away and wouldn't even visit unless I paid them and I have no friends in the area and don't care for most of the people here anyway. On top of that, I don't think these so-called normal people here could handle Nyx and Nox in full on zombie mode.

So I'm fucking stuck with getting stabbed and shocked. Again. Fuck. My. Luck.

I need a new doctor and just start from scratch. If we get the town we're hoping for, I may just do that. 


Monday, September 10, 2012

Someone Needs a Punch in the Nuts...

Minions, if you follow sports (or read front page news on Yahoo!) you know about the guy who ganked the baseball from two kids. I'm a little late on writing about this, but here it goes:

To the dick who likes to steal from kids: GROW THE FUCK UP! This goes for any person over the age of 12 at a sports event who Cock Blocks kids. You all deserve a punch in the fucking nuts. I hope the next fucking kid you do this too is one of mine, because I will yell out for them to do exactly that. And I hope it's Nyx and Nox who do it. You all deserve a fucking double nut punch. Oh, and if it is one or more of my kids, believe me, after they punch you, I will too. All while simultaneously stomping your fucking head on the stairs. What the fuck are you "grown" ass people doing? Unless you're helping your kid(s), STEP THE FUCK BACK! If you are helping your kids that are too young to catch a ball on their own, your ass better be right behind them or holding them. Only a fucking douchewaffle, cock blocking, mother fucking, insecure little prick would steal from a kid. What's the matter? Didn't you get a ball when you were a kid? No? Daddy wouldn't take you to a game? TOO FUCKING BAD! Go buy a fucking ball and get the fuck over it. If I were the guy sitting behind you as you took that ball, I would have shoved your ass over the fucking wall! You, troll faced mother fucker, are a waste of fucking oxygen.

To the parents of kids: Seriously, teach them to nut punch a fucker who does this. Let them serve as a lesson, steal from kids, get punched in the sack. And hope it get's broadcast on T.V. so others can see it! If not, YouTube that shit! Just make sure you give me a shout out in the video.

Now I said 12 for age, but this is a give or take age. I say the absolute cut off is 13 for fighting for this shit unless there are no kids around. Then it's fair game for all. But at the first sight of a kids, your ass needs to back the fuck off and let a kid get a ball or get punched in yours.

Ah yes, Hekate is getting back to her usual self now.