Saturday, August 18, 2012

Shout Out to An Awesome Crafter

Okay, minions, this isn't a first, and won't be my last. I will give a shout out to sites, stores, and people every once in a while. I figure why keep the cool shit all to myself? I'm not a greedy, hording bitch. Equal opportunist people.

So I signed up for Esty today. Never really paid attention to the site before, but I checked it out because an IRL (in real life, for those new to net lingo) friend made a shop. I had been checking out her stuff on Facebook for a while and when she said she made a shop, I jumped on board for support. Yeah, I'm a kick ass, ass kicking friend.

So, her shop is Emma's Addiction. She makes pursed, clutches, tote bags, and a lot of cool shit, OUT OF DUCT TAPE! Fucking awesome! This chick has talent! Some of these things look high end fashion. No joke. Go check out her store. 

If you ask her to make something special or custom made, she may oblige you. But don't be a douchewaffle or twatwaffle about it. Because If I hear about it from her, You'll get blasted here and on Facebook. By. Name. For the entire world to see. So unless you want to get spammed by loyal Minions, be nice.

Again, go check out Emma's Addiction and tell her Hekate sent you.


PS Straight from the maker herself:

Emily Anne Kansiewicz If any minions go to check out my shop, please type in HEKATE10 at the check out for a 10% discount!! You can thank your awesome blogger for that one!! :D

Friday, August 17, 2012

Big News About RROAGM

If you can't figure it out, RROAGM is Random Rants of a Goth Mom. So what news do I have? This:

As of yesterday, I added two managers to the page who can post and share just like me. Who are they? My twin, Hecate, and Xic! Congratufuckinglations you two! I trust you enough with the responsibility to entertain our Minions and keep them happy in case I am unable to if/when I have my surgery. I know you two will be epic, just like me.

Be warned, Minions: Xic is a human fucking dictionary and a Grammar Nazi from Hell! He calls me out on shit. All. The. Fucking. Time. I have gotten to call him out a few times, though. Hecate is as twisted as me. She is my twin after all. Well, as Kobal says, we're "quantum entangled". *cough* GEEK! *cough* You know we love you, Kobal!

That's it, Minions. Seems like mild news, but it's huge to me. I honestly didn't consider letting them have anything to do with this, because it's my baby. This is what I do. It brings me happiness and joy to make people laugh. Too bad I can't get paid for this shit! But I know if I get sick, have surgery, get hit by random space junk that falls out of the sky and it turns me into a 50' tall Goth who can't type on puny keyboards anymore, that they will keep this all going. Says a lot about them, doesn't it? Love, trust, and respect, Minions. I have nothing but love, trust, and respect for them. Okay, enough sappy shit. One last thing before I go: Does anyone else sing "♪♫ R-E-S-P-E-C-T ♫♪" when writing respect or is it just me?


Goth Mom Shout Out

Okay Minions, this site has me up to blog about it. So listen up:

I'm a gamer. Yes, I pretty much do it all as a goth. Why do you think all goths are depressed, loners who wear black, want to kill the world, and hate life? That's called Emo. Emo is like goth, but it's for pussies. Anyway, back to my mission.

I visit a lot of Facebook pages. Some I like, some I keep a check on, and some... Well, let's just say they are questionable even for me and I'm pretty fucking twisted. So as I was stalking some of my Facebook followers (yeah, I like to check you all out at times and some of you have your shit on lock down and are no fun) and I found that one of you liked this page named Loki's Planet. I love Loki, so you know I had to check them out. Guess what I found? They have a social network for gamers, by gamers. So I hopped on over to their site and made a profile. Seriously, if you're a gamer, go here now!

It's like Facebook, but for gamers and way fucking cooler. They have news about games, articles to help you out, it's a hard core catering to gamers! You don't have to be uber, epic, hardcore, tournament playing, marathon gamer to enjoy this site either. All skill levels are welcomed. So get on over there, sign up, connect, and enjoy.


Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Conversation With Xic

Seriously Minions, we have some off the wall conversations by most people's standards. However, for us, this is all normal. Xic has never been to a strip club, so I had to ask.

Hekate: Have you ever wanted to go to a strip club?

Xic: *probably thinking this is a loaded question* No. Why pay for it? I have you.

Hekate: Aww, thanks sweetie. But seriously. Never once thought about it?

Xic: I thought about what it would be like, but never really about going.

Hekate: What if we get a babysitter and go together?

Xic: Uh... But how would you feel if some chick rubs her boobs in my face and gives me a lap dance?

Hekate: Say I better be getting one too! Hello... I'm Bisexual. 

Xic: Okay, once we get a babysitter and some extra money.

Hekate: Plus, we both get all turn on and then come home and fuck like rabbits.

Xic: Wow, you could make a black man blush.

Hekate: It's what I do.


Moving, Drinking, Driving, IDIOTS!

Okay Minions, this is another heated rant. Right now, I need to hop up on my soap box and bitch a little. Okay, a lot!

First thing on today's rant list: PCS. PCS is a move for military and their family. It stands for Permanent Change of Station. When in the military, you move around. Sometimes a lot. If you're lucky (or not for some) you stay at the same base for an entire enlistment. However, if you find yourself in a PCS, you have movers pack up all your belongings in two separate moves. The first one should be "Unaccompanied Baggage". This is the stuff you'll want upon arrival at your next base. Things like professional gear (vests, boots, uniforms), pots and pans, dishes, sheets, towels... You get the idea. The next is HHG (Household Goods). This is everything else in your house. Now here where the rant starts...

My twin, Hecate, is in the middle of a PCS with her husband, Kobal. Now remember I said unaccompanied baggage first? Yeah, the fucking idiot, assholes at their current base set up HHG to be packed and picked up first. Now with any PCS, you have a weight limit. For them, it was 9000 lbs. The reason for unaccompanied to be packed first it to avoid my Hecate's situation they're facing: Over the weight limit. Why is this a problem? Because their HHG weighed in over 12,000 lbs the base is refusing to take their unaccompanied baggage. Including their pro-gear! Mother fuckers need to ship that shit! THEY. CAN'T. WORK. WITHOUT. IT. I'd be kicking some major fucking ass if I were still their! This is something they can't take with them. At all. Why the fuck did this base set it up backward? Because it is becoming a backward mother fucking base that's going to Hell in a hand basket pretty damn quick! I'm fucking fuming about this! Ship their stuff out, you fucking douchewaffles! Now Hecate said she might be able to call in a favor with the Wing Commander. Yeah, she's that fucking awesome that she can call in favors to him. That's just how we roll, Minions. I hope for the base's sake that they ship their stuff. Because if they don't, I have a feeling we'll be seeing on the news "Woman Burns Military Base to Ground Alone". And that's only because I'm not there to help.

Second thing on the rant list: Drink Drivers. As I was talking to Hecate on Skype about the fucktards at their base, she informs me of a DUI that resulted in a crash. Being that they are overseas, this is even worse. Military members and their families are ambassadors for the US. Nice way to fucking make the host country think this is how all Americans are! It wasn't just one person in the accident either. Two people, at 8:00 am were drunk off their asses and crashed into a pole. At least that's what they're saying at the moment. It was so bad they had to transfer one guy from the military hospital to an off base one to treat him. The other guy, still not sure if he was the driver, was immediately discharged from the military. It was THAT fucking bad! So here it goes:

Why the fuck are you drunk that fucking early? Seriously! And being THAT drunk and driving makes you the winner of Fucking Douchewaffle Idiot of the Year. I can't stand fucking drunk drivers! You people are the fucking scum beneath the scum of the Earth! You should all be lined up and have be stoned to death by anyone who has lost a loved one to a drunk driver! I don't care if you drink and get shit faced in your off time, but you need to have at least half a fucking brain cell to get someone else to drive you! Call a fucking cab if you have to and pick your damned car up the next fucking day! And any "friend" who lets someone drive drunk is no better and should be stabbed in the fucking jaw. Oh, and if you have a fucking friend in the car and you're both fucking wasted at eight in the fucking morning maybe you should have rolled and either become fucking vegetables, paralyzed, or died because you're obviously real fucking winners. 

If you fucking disagree, that's cool. I don't fucking care what you think because this is how I feel. If you have a fucking friend or family member that drinks and drive and you know it and try to defend them by saying "Well, what if it was your family member who did it? How would you feel if they died?" Uh, I would say THEY FUCKING DESERVED IT! I don't care. If my kids ever did it and lived through a crash, I would probably kill them myself. Would I mourn the loss of my kid if they died from their drinking and driving? Yeah. Only a heartless fucker wouldn't. But that doesn't change the fact that I would be pissed the fuck off for them being an idiot even if it was a one time lapse of judgement. No excuses.

The the "What if it was your family member" question I would also ask "How would you feel if one of your other family members was killed by the other? A child in the same car? A sister in the car that was hit? A mother talking a walk around the block?" Because what you would feel for the innocent family member is how every person who has lost someone because of a drunk driver feels every fucking day. So to all the assholes who have and still drive drunk thinking it will never happen to you because you're always in control: FUCK YOU, YOU DEGENERATE, INSIGNIFICANT, CRETIN! BURN IN HELL!

Okay, I think I'm done. I'll shut up and try to get back to funny shit soon.


Monday, August 13, 2012

Xic's Challenge

Xic: Can you make a 10 word sentence made of curse words that sounds like an actual sentence?

Hekate: Depends. What's you're definition of a curse word?

Xic: Huh? You know, curse words...

Hekate: Well, would you consider "cock sucker" to be a curse word?

Xic: Yeah.

Hekate: What about "twatwaffle"?

Xic: *thinking* Yeah, it's meant in a derogatory way.

Hekate: Challenge accepted! "Mother fucking, cock sucking, shitty ass, damn, twatwaffling,  asshole, bitch!" 


Oh, Minions, I love Shark Week. I wait all year for this one week. I look forward to Shark Week more than I ever look forward to my birthday. Why? Because I love seeing stupid ass people jump into the water and getting attack. Yes, I am demented. I thought you knew that already?

Okay, maybe it's not just that. Maybe it's because I think "Hmm... Maybe I should take douchewaffle or twatwaffle on a trip to feed the sharks." And by "feed the sharks" I mean feed them to the sharks. What? You never had thoughts like that? Yeah, you're a fucking liar too. Everyone has had at least one thought like this in their life.

Okay, so this is Shark Week's 25th year. Shark Weeks been around almost as long as I have! The best way to start off Shark Week is by watching JAWS of course. But we don't have it and it wasn't on T.V.! *sigh* At least it's coming out on Blu Ray soon so I will have it next year.

Now most people have a fear of sharks. Do I? No. I do fear being bitten by a rouge shark, but not sharks in general. I actually swam with Leopard Sharks in La Jolla, CA one year. They were migrating through like they do every year. I went for my normal surfing day (Yes, Goths can surf too! Jeez people!) and there they were. Beautiful bottom feeding sharks. Bottom feeding meaning they pull up food from the floor of the ocean and filter out the sand. They bumped into me, checking me out, and I just swam with them. Same direction, same smooth motion, it was awesome. Everyone else thought I had lost my mind and were screaming, "Those are sharks, not dolphins!" I didn't care. I felt free. I didn't get bitten. They didn't even attempt to strike at me.

I would like to swim with dolphins and sea lions someday, but I don't think I'll ever get the chance. So for now, I'll have to take my wild encounter with these beautiful creatures and hold on to it. At least I can say I got the chance.

I know, a mild post today. But hey! I'm random. Thought you would have known that by the title of this page.