Saturday, July 28, 2012

I'm Feeling my Face Twitch!

Okay, so we live in an apartment complex. A lot of people do. One day Xic, Nyx, Nox, and I were going to go on one of our normal runs at the park. Yes, goths exercise too so STFU and stop imagining me in bondage pants and tripping over chains! Thanks...

Anyway we're walking out and, like normal, I turn the lock on the knob and close the door. Usually Xic has his keys and stuff in his pocket. This was the one day he didn't. *sigh* Now we're locked out and it's before office hours. They open at 10 am and it was 9 am. No biggie, right? Just call the emergency line and get us back in. WRONG! No one answered the emergency number. Wait a damn minute... Emergency number for after hours. You've got to be shitting me! Couldn't climb through a window because we're on the second floor and any window that I might be able to shimmy my ass through was locked. Awesome. Now what?

We decided we'd walk down to get Xic and my hair cut since it's not too far and I, at least, had my wallet. Plus by the time we got back to the complex the office should be open. So off we stroll, got our cuts, paid, walk back. Not it's 10:15. SWEET! Office should be open. Yeah... No. Still closed. So he calls the office number. No answer. Emergency line. Still no answer. WTF is with this place?

A landscaper tells us, "Yeah, I just saw (manager) pull in. Said they had a late night." Wouldn't think too much about this except the manager lives right by the office. It's 10:25 and they just got home? Don't get me wrong, I'm all for having fun and living it up, but if you have to work you need to get your fucking priorities straight.

So we wait. And wait. And wait. It's now 10:48 and the fucking office is still closed! GTFO! Xic continues to call and leaves messages now. No answer, no return calls. I feel this little twitch in my face and my fists start to clench. Goth Mom is getting pissed.

Finally at 10:58, almost two hours later, someone answers the office phone. Their excuse? "The emergency phone wasn't charged. tee-he! I must have forgot to charge it." Bitch, are you for real? Breathe, Hekate. Breathe.

Okay, they unlock the door, we get in, I'm too fucking pissed to do shit and tell Xic to go run cause Nyx and Nox need a snack and a nap now. No big deal, I miss one day. Not like we've locked ourselves out before, and I doubt it will happen again since we're going to place a hide-a-key somewhere. 

Fast forward almost a week later... I get our first newsletter today from the complex. Never have I seen a newsletter from them before. So here's what I see:

"We have been having quite a few people calling after hours due to the fact that they have locked themselves out of their homes. There will be a fee of $25 for unlocking your apartment after hours. We will waive this charge for your first lockout."

Are you serious? First fucking newsletter ever and you feel the need to say that shit? How about putting that shit in the lease agreement? Oh, even better! Open your fucking office on time! After hours my ass! We didn't leave a fucking message until after your ass should have been sitting at your desk playing your apps on your iPhone and stalking people on Facebook on time. We gave you plenty of fucking time to sober your ass up and do your fucking job, bitches. Next time don't party on a school night and maybe people won't kill your buzz or make you regret that massive hangover you have.


Friday, July 27, 2012

First Blog: All About ME! (sort of)

Dark greetings Minions! Yes, I will call you my Minions. Why? Cause it's cool and I like it, now shut up and let me talk! Sheesh!

So since this is my first post, I figured I'd let you into my dark, twisted world to get a feel of who I am and why I'm doing what I do:

I'm a goth. Have been for a long time. What qualifies me as goth? Depends on your definition. Some say wearing black and dark clothing equals goth. Yes, I do that. Some say goths are freaks in bed. Yeah, I guess you could say I am. Some say goths are twisted people who worship Satan. Yeah, wait... Say huh?. Twisted, yes. Worship Satan, no. My theory is he worships me cause I'm just that awesome. But by most definitions I am Goth. I digress...

Let's just say I'm a 30ish stay-at-home-mom. Maybe I'm older, maybe I'm younger. Does age really matter? Yeah, didn't think so. I have three Gothlings, children if you will. Well four actually, but I gave one up for adoption. Long story which is no ones business, so I just claim three.  

Verin, the oldest, is my only boy. Verin was suppose to be a twin, but his twin just couldn't survive. Yes, it's sad, but don't feel bad for me. That's not what this is about. He's smart, too smart sometimes, popular, and somewhat of a pimp. Why do I say that? Because in 2nd grade he has a 6th grade girl ask for his number. Serious WTF moment for me.

Nyx and Nox are my girls. They are twins. They are somewhat surprising. They pulled a door off the frame before they were two. Not once, but twice! Once after it was repaired with longer screws. Still no actual proof of how they did it. Yet another WTF moment for me. Needless to say, I have my hands full.

Then there's Xic, my husband. He's the greatest, though sometimes I would like to kick his arse. He is the only one I know who can handle me. Seriously, he puts me in my place when I need it, and vice versa. When you hear people say that their spouse completes them, most of the time it's just bullshit talk. This man is my completion. He's everything I'm not and can't be. He's ex-military and truly my hero.

So back to me. I am Hekate. I will not use my real name and hope that my friends and family who come here and to my Facebook page will keep my dark secret. If you happen to figure out who I am and stalk me, I. Will. End.You. No joke, you don't want to be on my shit list. What I can't do physically I can make up for in other ways. I'll put you on blast for the world to see. I will make your life a living Hell. And if I can't personally kick your arse, I know a few people who would do it for me. 

Now this blog and my page are meant as an outlet for me to vent about stupidity I encounter and witness in hopes you can either relate and say "Hell yeah!" or laugh your asses off. On my Facebook page I will ban all trolls and people just wanting to start drama. But don't think I won't put your ass in my blog and blast you on Facebook tagging you in my post so all your trolling friends can see. Believe me, I can be ruthless.

I have no filter at times... Okay, most of the time. I do try to keep in mind on Facebook that some people will share my status and pics and will refrain as much as possible from "graphic language". How the fuck ever, here I am making this an Adult Page and you will have to "consent" to view this page. Yes, I will drop the F-bomb from time to time. It's called Freedom of Speech and I will use it. Don't like it? Leave. Now, sit down, grab something to drink, try not to spit it all over your computer, and enjoy.