Tuesday, February 4, 2014

WOW! Where Have I Been?

Okay, so I've been out of the loop for a while. I suppose you all want an explanation, right? Well, Minions, you're in luck. That's what you're about to get.

Last year was Hell on Earth. So many things happened that seemed like one shit storm after another. We moved into what was suppose to be awesome apartments but turned into the most ghetto place every. How ghetto? They didn't clean the sinks and stove before we moved in... They PAINTED them! Yes, painted. Within a few days sinks started to chip. Sinks I don't care too much about, but the stove? Seriously? They must be out of their mother fucking minds! The damned thing burst into flames as I was fixing Xic's eggs one day. What did the complex say? "Perhaps you should clean your stove more often to stop the grease build up." The fuck did you just say, bitch? How about you replace this deathtrap stove that your guys painted. While you're at it, how about stocking the fire extinguishers too?

Xic was rejected for the police department, so he's still working for a company that hires people who cant spell their way out of a paper bag. Case in point, his supervisor sent an email about "Super Bowel" festivities. Xic said "Is it sponsored by Ex-Lax? Guess I'm going to have a shitty day at work. It's going to stink." Yeah, that's my husband.

We've have an offer in on a house we want to buy. It's a short-sale. Our offer was first put in late October. They replied mid December wanting $25k more than the listing price, we counted, they countered back with $235k, we agreed and signed on January 2. We haven't heard back from them since. Hey, NationStar! Get off you're fucking asses and sign off on the damned thing so we can move the fuck in and get out of this shit hole apartment complex already! I'd also like to get moved before March 11th! Fucktards.

March 11th, in case you're wondering, is when I have surgery to reattach muscles that are torn. In two places. I also have to have at least one hernia repaired. When I fuck up my body, I do it right.

I did find my dad last year, so that's a plus. 30 years of not knowing and him wondering put to rest with one test that proved 99.999% he is my dad. We met and found that even though we never knew each other we're alike in so many ways. We look alike, love the same foods, and our tastes in houses and kitchen designs are the same. Okay, enough sappy shit. I don't need you all crying like Manning after the Super Bowl.

I would like to congratulate the Seattle Seahawks and the 12th Man for the well deserved win. Way to play, Legion of Boom. Oh, and a special shout out to Marshawn Lynch. Thanks to you, Nyx and Nox now run around yelling "Beast MODE! Skittles!" and I have to say I love it. 


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