Ever been in pain for more than two weeks and going on a month and it not be from an operation or recent injury? Yeah, that's been my life for the last few weeks. Remember the nerve test that was going to be done? Not any more. My insurance never cleared it so it's not happening. Thank you insurance! Seriously. I hate that fucking test.
Now on top of this pain that won't go the fuck away, I have a virus. Not sure if it's a 24 hour, 48 hour, or what right now. It just hit me this morning. Sure it did. It's only Xic's first day back at work. Why wouldn't it hit now?
The neighbors have been quiet since my last rant about them, so they're no fun to write about now. Damn them. I did find out that there is one neighbor who hasn't been scared off by me and doesn't think I'm too weird for playing "Zombie Apocalypse" with Nyx and Nox (I chase them around moaning "Braaaaaains" and proceed to chew on their heads when I catch them). How do I know she's not put off by us? Xic and I were taking the rails to the cribs down to the garage the other day and she almost cried thinking we were moving. When we explained what we were doing, she let out a sigh of relief. Guess the twins stole yet another heart.
Nyx and Nox have been obsessed with Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel movie. Nox goes all fan girl on me. She'll be standing, waiting for the movie to start. The second she hears Alvin laugh and say "We're baack!" she pulls her hands to her mouth, eyes big, smiling and holding back a squeal. Every. Single. Time. At least it's Alvin and not *vomit* Justin Bieber.
So that's about it. Nothing exciting has happened. Maybe soon Hecate will post a blog. I know she's had some interesting, crazy, fucked up shit happen to her! Poor sis. But it should be entertaining as Hell! lol
~Hekate
Showing posts with label neighbors. Show all posts
Showing posts with label neighbors. Show all posts
Friday, September 28, 2012
Thursday, September 13, 2012
The Return of the Twitchy Face and Clinched Fists.
As if waking up before Xic's alarm went off this morning (about 5:40 am) wasn't bad enough, shortly after 6 our lovely neighbors decided it would be a great time to play musical fucking cars. This game is played by douchewaffles and twatwaffles. The rules are simple.
The last part is important, because if you don't speed off, you're probably going to encounter a very pissed off mom or dad that may or may not slam your head into the window of your car, punch you in the fucking throat, slam your head in the door two or 20 times, and proceed to bitch slap you while the rest of your neighbors cheer them on.
So heed my warning douchers everywhere. Next time think about what your doing, because you never know when a parent of a pissed off kid might repel down the side of their house ninja style and beat the shit out of you and then vanish just as quick.
Now I have to deal with two very pissed off toddlers who could not go back to sleep and won't nap until around 11 (if I'm lucky). All vocalization of what they want has gone from short words and signs to screams, grunts, and whines. No amount of toys, music, or hugs make this any better, so I will follow suit and throw an all out hissy fucking fit with them until nap time.
Again, thank you neighbors. And remember, payback's a bitch.
~Hekate
- Turn your craptacular music up so loud it rattles windows a mile away and makes your car vibrate harder and faster than your mom's Pocket Rocket.
- Make sure your friend does the same so it's in stereo.
- Go from car to car slamming the doors every five seconds making sure to wake everyone in your neighborhood up including babies and toddlers. Let's face it, parents don't need sleep, right?
- Make sure you rev your engine and speed off just as the last baby/toddler screams out because they were woken up far before they were ready to be.
The last part is important, because if you don't speed off, you're probably going to encounter a very pissed off mom or dad that may or may not slam your head into the window of your car, punch you in the fucking throat, slam your head in the door two or 20 times, and proceed to bitch slap you while the rest of your neighbors cheer them on.
So heed my warning douchers everywhere. Next time think about what your doing, because you never know when a parent of a pissed off kid might repel down the side of their house ninja style and beat the shit out of you and then vanish just as quick.
Now I have to deal with two very pissed off toddlers who could not go back to sleep and won't nap until around 11 (if I'm lucky). All vocalization of what they want has gone from short words and signs to screams, grunts, and whines. No amount of toys, music, or hugs make this any better, so I will follow suit and throw an all out hissy fucking fit with them until nap time.
Again, thank you neighbors. And remember, payback's a bitch.
~Hekate
Saturday, August 11, 2012
The Mildly Boring, Yet Somewhat Entertaining, Day
T'was another hot day here in Gothland, Minions. At least I didn't have a sick baby today, which pleases me knowing it wasn't anything serious and that it wasn't anything a good nights sleep couldn't cured.
So it started off as a boring day, but soon shit got interesting. Crazy with a 100% chance of twitchy face. Take a journey with me through today's event:
Xic has reserve duty this weekend. No biggie, one weekend a month, two weeks a year. Yeah, no biggie. He just has to wake up at 0430 to get ready and his alarm is the annoyingly loud, obnoxious one that could send someone into immediate fight mode with stabbing tendencies. Oh how I abhor that alarm. Yeah, new word for you. I may use my extensive vocabulary at times, but trust me, most of the time it will be "Fuckity, fuck, fucking, fucker". Okay, back to today. Xic leaves for duty and I go back to sleep for a few more hours before the Gothlings wake up. I get a text around 8:00 am saying that the unit Xic is in is going to try to force him through his "medical shit." Short back story: Xic has been told he may have sleep apnea and needs a sleep study. Therefore he can't deploy for his two week time when it hits. He has an appointment for the referral on Monday and they'll schedule his sleep study as soon as they can. May be a week, may be a month, may be more. So I kind of get pissy and rant to Xic about it. Spouting off the condition, how it's a risk to speed through it all, and they can't send him out against a medical profile, blah, blah, fuckity blah. Yeah, so that got out of my system quick. Sorry, Xic! Yeah, take note that that will probably be the only time I apologize.
Day goes on, not much happens. Same shit, different day. Nyx and Nox fight over toys, books, blankets... If you have kids, you know that after a while, you only respond if there's the sound of something breaking, you smell smoke, or hear the blood curdling scream that says something is wrong. Every other cry gets the "Work it out yourself" response. Most of the time. Well my little demons have taken their fights to the next level. Level: Toddler Epic. What's Toddle Epic? That would be the smashing books, toys, and whatever else they can get their grubby little hands on over the other one's head. On. Purpose. Not like the normal "What happens if I do this?" but the "You took my toy? Oh Hell no!" hit. This one I respond to because I hear the smack followed by the "Oh my gawd, the sky is falling" cry. If that isn't enough, they now push each other off of the bed. While standing and jumping. Or climb on the toy bin and push the other off.
I yelled at a neighbor, or visitor I don't know or care, today. We have assigned parking here for some spots. Xic is gone and our space is open. So what do you think doucher did? Yep, parked in our spot right in front of our garage clearly marked with our apartment number/letter. Douchwaffle isn't even in our building so there's no excuse. So I go down and say, as nicely as I can since my uterus is about to go nuclear on me, that he can't park in our space and will need to move as I am expecting my husband back soon. It wasn't a lie either, Xic should would have been back within an hour. So SlimEnDim says "I can park where ever the fuck I want to park. No trick bitch can make me move!" Oh buddy, you just fucked up. So I reply, again as nicely and now sarcastically, "If you stay in out spot my husband will end up blocking you in. But hey, you're call." As I start to walk away he yells, "If he does, then I'll just ram his fucking car out of my way when I leave!" Twitchy face, clinched fists, and ready to throw down I say, "Fine. You do that. Oh, but if you don't move your car in 3 fucking minutes, I will call the tow company and have it removed. If my husband gets back and you ram his car, be prepared to have your car tagged, buckets of paint poured on it, the windows smashed, tires slashed, bloody fucking tampons and pads glues to it, and rancid shitty diapers smeared on the inside and left. I have a diaper genii filled with them. Your move, asshole." His jaw dropped and he immediately moved his car without a single word spoken after that. Okay, maybe my day wasn't that boring. I'm just use to this shit.
Xic had to go back to base and now I'm waiting for him to get home. In theory he should have been back, or at least on his way, by now. Gotta love the military. So I'm sitting here, listening to the sounds our neighbor kids fighting and can't help but laugh at the mom saying they fight worse than any other siblings. I doubt that. I think for now, Nyx and Nox hold the title of "Craziest Sibling Fights". Or is it normal for toddlers to slam each other's head into the walls leaving dents and laughing after it's over?
So it started off as a boring day, but soon shit got interesting. Crazy with a 100% chance of twitchy face. Take a journey with me through today's event:
Xic has reserve duty this weekend. No biggie, one weekend a month, two weeks a year. Yeah, no biggie. He just has to wake up at 0430 to get ready and his alarm is the annoyingly loud, obnoxious one that could send someone into immediate fight mode with stabbing tendencies. Oh how I abhor that alarm. Yeah, new word for you. I may use my extensive vocabulary at times, but trust me, most of the time it will be "Fuckity, fuck, fucking, fucker". Okay, back to today. Xic leaves for duty and I go back to sleep for a few more hours before the Gothlings wake up. I get a text around 8:00 am saying that the unit Xic is in is going to try to force him through his "medical shit." Short back story: Xic has been told he may have sleep apnea and needs a sleep study. Therefore he can't deploy for his two week time when it hits. He has an appointment for the referral on Monday and they'll schedule his sleep study as soon as they can. May be a week, may be a month, may be more. So I kind of get pissy and rant to Xic about it. Spouting off the condition, how it's a risk to speed through it all, and they can't send him out against a medical profile, blah, blah, fuckity blah. Yeah, so that got out of my system quick. Sorry, Xic! Yeah, take note that that will probably be the only time I apologize.
Day goes on, not much happens. Same shit, different day. Nyx and Nox fight over toys, books, blankets... If you have kids, you know that after a while, you only respond if there's the sound of something breaking, you smell smoke, or hear the blood curdling scream that says something is wrong. Every other cry gets the "Work it out yourself" response. Most of the time. Well my little demons have taken their fights to the next level. Level: Toddler Epic. What's Toddle Epic? That would be the smashing books, toys, and whatever else they can get their grubby little hands on over the other one's head. On. Purpose. Not like the normal "What happens if I do this?" but the "You took my toy? Oh Hell no!" hit. This one I respond to because I hear the smack followed by the "Oh my gawd, the sky is falling" cry. If that isn't enough, they now push each other off of the bed. While standing and jumping. Or climb on the toy bin and push the other off.
I yelled at a neighbor, or visitor I don't know or care, today. We have assigned parking here for some spots. Xic is gone and our space is open. So what do you think doucher did? Yep, parked in our spot right in front of our garage clearly marked with our apartment number/letter. Douchwaffle isn't even in our building so there's no excuse. So I go down and say, as nicely as I can since my uterus is about to go nuclear on me, that he can't park in our space and will need to move as I am expecting my husband back soon. It wasn't a lie either, Xic should would have been back within an hour. So SlimEnDim says "I can park where ever the fuck I want to park. No trick bitch can make me move!" Oh buddy, you just fucked up. So I reply, again as nicely and now sarcastically, "If you stay in out spot my husband will end up blocking you in. But hey, you're call." As I start to walk away he yells, "If he does, then I'll just ram his fucking car out of my way when I leave!" Twitchy face, clinched fists, and ready to throw down I say, "Fine. You do that. Oh, but if you don't move your car in 3 fucking minutes, I will call the tow company and have it removed. If my husband gets back and you ram his car, be prepared to have your car tagged, buckets of paint poured on it, the windows smashed, tires slashed, bloody fucking tampons and pads glues to it, and rancid shitty diapers smeared on the inside and left. I have a diaper genii filled with them. Your move, asshole." His jaw dropped and he immediately moved his car without a single word spoken after that. Okay, maybe my day wasn't that boring. I'm just use to this shit.
Xic had to go back to base and now I'm waiting for him to get home. In theory he should have been back, or at least on his way, by now. Gotta love the military. So I'm sitting here, listening to the sounds our neighbor kids fighting and can't help but laugh at the mom saying they fight worse than any other siblings. I doubt that. I think for now, Nyx and Nox hold the title of "Craziest Sibling Fights". Or is it normal for toddlers to slam each other's head into the walls leaving dents and laughing after it's over?
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