So it started off as a boring day, but soon shit got interesting. Crazy with a 100% chance of twitchy face. Take a journey with me through today's event:
Xic has reserve duty this weekend. No biggie, one weekend a month, two weeks a year. Yeah, no biggie. He just has to wake up at 0430 to get ready and his alarm is the annoyingly loud, obnoxious one that could send someone into immediate fight mode with stabbing tendencies. Oh how I abhor that alarm. Yeah, new word for you. I may use my extensive vocabulary at times, but trust me, most of the time it will be "Fuckity, fuck, fucking, fucker". Okay, back to today. Xic leaves for duty and I go back to sleep for a few more hours before the Gothlings wake up. I get a text around 8:00 am saying that the unit Xic is in is going to try to force him through his "medical shit." Short back story: Xic has been told he may have sleep apnea and needs a sleep study. Therefore he can't deploy for his two week time when it hits. He has an appointment for the referral on Monday and they'll schedule his sleep study as soon as they can. May be a week, may be a month, may be more. So I kind of get pissy and rant to Xic about it. Spouting off the condition, how it's a risk to speed through it all, and they can't send him out against a medical profile, blah, blah, fuckity blah. Yeah, so that got out of my system quick. Sorry, Xic! Yeah, take note that that will probably be the only time I apologize.
Day goes on, not much happens. Same shit, different day. Nyx and Nox fight over toys, books, blankets... If you have kids, you know that after a while, you only respond if there's the sound of something breaking, you smell smoke, or hear the blood curdling scream that says something is wrong. Every other cry gets the "Work it out yourself" response. Most of the time. Well my little demons have taken their fights to the next level. Level: Toddler Epic. What's Toddle Epic? That would be the smashing books, toys, and whatever else they can get their grubby little hands on over the other one's head. On. Purpose. Not like the normal "What happens if I do this?" but the "You took my toy? Oh Hell no!" hit. This one I respond to because I hear the smack followed by the "Oh my gawd, the sky is falling" cry. If that isn't enough, they now push each other off of the bed. While standing and jumping. Or climb on the toy bin and push the other off.
I yelled at a neighbor, or visitor I don't know or care, today. We have assigned parking here for some spots. Xic is gone and our space is open. So what do you think doucher did? Yep, parked in our spot right in front of our garage clearly marked with our apartment number/letter. Douchwaffle isn't even in our building so there's no excuse. So I go down and say, as nicely as I can since my uterus is about to go nuclear on me, that he can't park in our space and will need to move as I am expecting my husband back soon. It wasn't a lie either, Xic should would have been back within an hour. So SlimEnDim says "I can park where ever the fuck I want to park. No trick bitch can make me move!" Oh buddy, you just fucked up. So I reply, again as nicely and now sarcastically, "If you stay in out spot my husband will end up blocking you in. But hey, you're call." As I start to walk away he yells, "If he does, then I'll just ram his fucking car out of my way when I leave!" Twitchy face, clinched fists, and ready to throw down I say, "Fine. You do that. Oh, but if you don't move your car in 3 fucking minutes, I will call the tow company and have it removed. If my husband gets back and you ram his car, be prepared to have your car tagged, buckets of paint poured on it, the windows smashed, tires slashed, bloody fucking tampons and pads glues to it, and rancid shitty diapers smeared on the inside and left. I have a diaper genii filled with them. Your move, asshole." His jaw dropped and he immediately moved his car without a single word spoken after that. Okay, maybe my day wasn't that boring. I'm just use to this shit.
Xic had to go back to base and now I'm waiting for him to get home. In theory he should have been back, or at least on his way, by now. Gotta love the military. So I'm sitting here, listening to the sounds our neighbor kids fighting and can't help but laugh at the mom saying they fight worse than any other siblings. I doubt that. I think for now, Nyx and Nox hold the title of "Craziest Sibling Fights". Or is it normal for toddlers to slam each other's head into the walls leaving dents and laughing after it's over?
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