Doctor! Doctor! Give Me the News...

I've got a bad case of wanting to punch you! Yeah, remember back I was talking about my doctor who seemed like he wanted to help me, get me in with a neurosurgeon to fix my herniated disc? Yeah, not so happy with him now...

Yesterday I went back for a follow-up and here's what he said:

      "I don't think the problem is in your back. I want to do a nerve conduction test because I think you have a lesion on a nerve in your leg. Plus, you don't need to get addicted to pain pills"

1.  I NEVER ASKED FOR PAIN MEDS, YOU JACKASS!
2. How the fuck is a lesion on a leg nerve going to cause pain IN MY BACK?
3. You want me to get a huge ass needle shoved into various parts of my leg and shock the nerves again and think I'm going to be okay with that? FUCK YOU!

I'm beginning to think you're just trying to milk me for money now, doc. Guess what? Not. Going. To. Happen. Why would I subject myself to the same fucking test again that showed there was no fucking lesion on any fucking nerve in my leg? They also checked on an MRI for nerve lesions as well as brain lesions. Guess what it showed? NOTHING. No lesions anywhere. 

But hey, what do I know? I'm just the bitch who has the pain in her fucking back that radiates down her legs to her feet and also down my fucking arms. How could that possibly be a problem in my back? You know what they did find on my MRI? A herniated fucking disc. Know what I had done for said problem? Physical Therapy, X-Ray Guided Epidural Injections, rest, massage, and then Vicodin from you. 

I have exhausted every fucking solution for the fucking problem and was told by the doc who gave me the injections "These did not work at all. You need surgery." I was told by you "You need surgery." Now you're telling me it's not my fucking back at all? You sound like a doc I had before who called me a "Fainting Goat" because I have an arrhythmia in my heart. He also started that conversation with "How many kids do you have and how old are the little bastards?" and followed with "You don't even have HIV. What's a girl like you suppose to do?" Know what happened to that doc? He got fired and was lucky I didn't spork his fucking eyes out. I would have bitten his jugular and drank his blood but I didn't want to catch his smug attitude. Fucking House wannabe.

So doc, what to do with you? Should I call my insurance and tell them I need/want a second opinion or let you subject me to a battery of tests that will show what they have in the past and be inconclusive? I'll fucking humor you one time and get this fucking painful ass test done. How the fuck ever, if it shows the same damn thing it did in the past, I'm switching doc faster than you can say "Turn your head and cough."