A Little History Lesson of Hekate

No, not the real Hekate, but me. Maybe one day I will explain why I use Hekate Jahi as my name, but not tonight. I've taken my meds and may be out cold soon. The past few days I have mentioned I'm on Vicodin. Let me clarify why before people start thinking what my doctor thought before even seeing me. Yeah, I can hear some of you thinking "Pill popping junkie."

In 1994 I had a horse. Yes, a horse. I am Native American and lived on a reservation. You had to have a horse. It was almost mandatory. Anyway, I was worried about hurting my horse and chose not to use a saddle and be like my ancestors. I rode bareback. This takes strength and skill when you run with your horse. It may look easy, but it's not.

So one day I hop onto Lightening and on this day, things went bad. He freaked out for some reason and took off running before I was ready. He bucked, reared up, bucked again, and I fell. I landed on my back and heard The Oracle yell to roll. As I rolled onto my stomach, Lightening began to stomp on me. He hit my left knee, my right wrist, and worst of all my lower back. Lucky for me he hadn't been shoed yet, meaning he didn't have horseshoes on him. When you live on land like we had, it wasn't necessary, and that may have saved me from being paralyzed or killed. Sadly, though, no one took the injury serious at the hospital and didn't even x-ray my back. Fucked up, right? I thought so.

Fast forward a few years and I'm at a neurologist for a follow-up on my epilepsy. Hey, I never said I was a 100% healthy Goth. As he's doing his exam he checks my back. I have scoliosis. Fucking awesome. Still, no one cares I was stepped on by a horse. No big deal, I guess. This same year, I'm a passenger in a car wreck. I get taken to the hospital via ambulance and they check my neck. Nothing broken, but I have the start of degenerative disc disease. Not good when you're just a teen. Still no checking of my lower back. 

A year later, I am playing tackle baseball with my cousin and some friends. Yes, tackle baseball. We made shit up when we got bored. I go to tackle my cousin, who out weighs me by almost 50 lbs, and he ends up causing us to fall backwards and my neck twists and pops. SHIT!!! He jumps up and freaks out asking if I'm okay. I. Can't. Move. This is bad. Very fucking bad. The ambulance gets there and I'm taken to the same hospital that shrugged off my horse accident. Great. They do a CT of my neck and x-ray my back. Torn muscle in my neck and my back has a 13 degree curvature in two spots. Plus the disc in my upper back lack normal spacing from the degenerative disc. They put me through physical therapy and I'm sent packing. 

Years later I've had kids, and after Nyx and Nox I started having real problems. I had fallen in the past, but now I fell down stairs. More than once. My legs were going numb as well as my arms, my feet hurt and burned, and I couldn't sit or stand for long at all. I go to the doc who orders a MRI of my lower back. Scoliosis, degenerative disc, and herniated disc from L4 to S1, and that's just my lower back. I may have more. It's been a year since I found out and I have never been on pain medication for it. I did have injections near my spine. Three rounds of no less than 12 shots each time. It didn't help and my body wouldn't heal. Now I'm experiencing what could be nerve damage from it. I have just been prescribed Vicodin, one pill twice a day as well as put back on my seizure medication. My doctor said "You've been suffering for too long. You need this."

I will make fun of myself for being on it because it makes me semi hyper and I do and say funny ass shit. If I can't laugh at myself, then I fail. I hope you all find it funny too.  I writes these posts to vent and say what I'm thinking when no one is here to talk or if I don't want to stress Xic anymore than he already is. 

I hope you're enjoying my rants and randomness. If you have any ideas or want to share a rant, email me at GothMomRantings@rocketmail.com. Please feel free to share this as well as my Facebook page Random Rantings of a Goth Mom. Goodnight, Minions.

~Hekate