I wasn't around much today, Minions. Why? Nyx is sick. She started running a fever around noon today. Well, that's when I noticed it. They took a nap and she was fine when they laid down. I thought teething, but no. It's causing her to run a temp that's over 103, she's cranky as Hell, lethargic, and doesn't want to do anything. Well, except cry. A lot. Even when I sit and hold her, dance with her, sing to her, lay down with her... You get the picture. Anyway, called the doc and they said just watch her I've done all that can be done right now. She's asleep now. Poor kid.
This brings me to a version of Facebook Whores I would love to high five. In the face. With a fucking sledge hammer. Since there are so many Facebook Whores, I'll explain this type.
My Kid is Sick, Fell Sorry for Me (whineacus maximus per attentionous whoreicus):
This not so elusive creature of habit repeats their patterns often. They tend to have three or more kids that are very close in age. Stair steps, if you will. The ones born almost nine months apart and usually have no manners and are hyper little fuckers that break every damn thing in your house when visiting all while the parent sits drinking all your pop and/or booze and eating all your food.
One day one of her kids gets sick with a cold. You'd think the kids was dying.
"OMG Little Timmy just sneezed! I hate having sick kids! =("
Bitch, please. A sneeze could be anything from allergies to random sneezing. But what do we do? Comment saying something like "Aww, sorry hun. Get well soon Timmy!" and "Like" her status. Which begs the question, are you liking that her kid is sick or because you understand? Maybe there should be an "I Understand" button...
Anyway, a few minutes latter we see something like :
"Little Timmy is coughing now. Wish he wasn't soooo sick. =("
Okay, who would wish their kid was sick? No one you fucking cunt! So what do most of us do? Like and comment again saying "That suck! How bad is it?" Why the Hell do people egg this on? So again, a few minutes later we see something like this:
"OMG What do I do? Little Timmy JUST threw up!"
Still, you get one crazy fucker who likes the status. Why? Seriously, why would you like that? Whatever, back to needy bitch. First off, GET THE FUCK OFF FACEBOOK! Bitch, we can tell when it's posted mobile and when it's from the computer. All status updates have been from your damn computer! Second, if Little Timmy is so fucking sick, don't expect Lassie to run and fetch the doctor! Come on, you have to be laughing now if you get that reference. If you don't, you're probably too fucking young or sheltered to be here and need to leave. Anyway, people comment again with advice. Ginger ale, crackers, toast, pepto, and all that. Then there's the one logical, or fed up, person who comments "Uh, duh! Call the doctor or take him in..." Thank you, random logical person. I think I love you.
If you haven't unfriended or hidden all post from this person yet, you're bound to see this:
"OMG JUST looked up his symptoms on WEB MD and found out
he may have cancer! What am I going to do?"
Insert epic facepalm. I hate Web MD with a fucking passion. That damned symptom checker thing is a joke! So now you have unfriended or hidden posts, if not, you're a fucking moron or a smart ass who wants to stir shit up for laughs. If you're like me you reply with "OMG Are you sure? I heard Gonasyphiherpalitis has been going around and it's bad!" Hey, I need something to write about, might as well fuck with some random idiot and get something good. Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm a fucking bitch.
A few minutes later you see, posted from the web still, that she's at the ER with Little Timmy. Hmm... Not mobile, not from Blackberry, not from iPhone, no location tag, nothing indicting it's from a phone. Plus it's only been a minute or two since the cancer post and you know there's no way in Hell that bitch got her kid to the ER that fast unless she can teleport. But there's still a few idiots who still pity this fucking cunt rag and wish her luck and say they'll be praying for her. Congratufuckinglations, you just played right into her trap. After a few minutes we here Little Timmy is all better and is miraculously cured! Hooray! No more drama from mamma! Until the next day when it happens. ALL. OVER. AGAIN. This time with Sweet Sandy. Then the next day with Baby Brad. And however many other kids this twat has. All get "cured" with never seeing a doctor. Then maybe there's a day or two of a break and it starts all over.
My point? Bitch, if your kid or kids are so damned sick get your lazy, twatwaffle ass off of Facebook and do something! Don't sit a phish for fucking sympathy and comments. And if your kid wasn't sick, stop fucking playing like they are. Because one day they will get sick and nobody will fucking care. Of course, most of us don't give two fucks now. We just want to watch the world burn and hope you die a slow and horribly painful death.
~Hekate
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