What Time is it?

More like Xic, Hekate, and the Gothlings

If you're a mom, or even a nerd, you probably yelled out "Adventure Time!" If not, fuck you. That's a pretty cool ass show right along with Regular Show. Anyway, there's a reason for the title. Ever heard of Geocashing? It's like hide-and-seek with boxes of stuff using a GPS to find it. Well Xic and I picked up this hobby last year. He had been wanting to do it for a while so I bought him a handheld GPS for Christmas. Yeah, I'm a kick ass wife.

Well today we went on one of these adventures that was a seven part quest. It was fun, challenging, and yet some what annoying. Let me take my meds and then I'll finish this story... 

Okay, where was I? Oh yeah, our quest to Mordor. Shut up, that was fucking funny. So this morning we start our journey to the first coordinance. We make it there and have to start by counting planks on a picnic table, then the bolts, add one into something, multiply it by this, and get N 55 55.XXX then take the other and add, subtract, divide and get W 55 55.XXX. Fucking math, Minions! I have no problem with it but, seriously, it was a lot. Anyway, we make it to spot two using what we figured out. Perfect! Hekate still rocks on her math. Spot two has us count windows, letters, columns, pipes, then start adding, subtracting, multiplying, and dividing all over again. I still got this! Even though people were bitching on the website that the math wasn't right or it was too hard, we had no problems at all. Guess these other douchers were just bad at math or forgot how to count. Or lazy...

Okay, spot three, same thing. Find a sign with numbers, count cables, start math. Got it, good, on to the next spot! Except it was in a state park and we had to pay to get in. No problem, they take cards... Damn it! Fucking closed and it's cash or check. Okay, back home, pick up the check book, and feed the Gothlings while we're at it since it was lunch time. They eat and we leave again. By the way, this entire time I'm tripping balls on the Vicodin I was prescribed yesterday. EPIC! I started laughing at random shit and had the most fucked up squeaky ass laugh at one point. I scared myself. But I digress.

Back to the park and guess what? The fucking window is open and they're taking cards now. Whatever, it's cool. We pay, go in, get the next clue. More numbers, more math, time to move to spot five. This one was on the side of the road. Add letters up, take down number, do math, move on. Spot six was just down the road and we're almost done! Six is the same thing, add letters, math, move on. It's all on foot from here.

We put Nyx and Nox in the jogging stroller and set out. Now me being somewhat smart, I sprayed the Gothlings and myself with bug spray before leaving, but I failed to wear pants. This was my epic fail of the day. Xic refused to put on bug spray. Whatever, you're blood guy. So we start our 3/4 mile hike to the last spot. Oh, and let me say I felt like Deadpool carrying a machete on my back and welding it on the last leg of this trip. BAD. ASS.

The trail is muddy in spots and rough, plus there's tall grass and brush all along the side. Still, family fun and exercise. It's all gravy. Xic is pushing the stroller and we start heading into the wooded area. Guess what we ran into? Mosquitoes! Fucking shit ton of big ass, suck your fucking blood dry, mosquitoes. Good thing I sprayed us all down, right? Oh yeah, except for Xic. Sucks to be him. The fuck! I'm getting attacked too? Fucking mutant ass bugs! I cover Nyx and Nox and start going all Mosquito Ninja on any and every fucking flying insect near them. I got to the point where I fucking said, "I offer myself as tribute!" Yes, I am a nerd. Fucking problem? Didn't think so.

Xic heads down a path the stroller wouldn't make to finish out our journey as I continue to kick mosquito ass. He yells back "Head for the clearing! I'll catch up!" so back up the hill we go still swinging at the dive bombing fuckers as I go. Once we get to the clearing we're in the green zone. Xic catches up, tosses me the keys and says head back to the car, another 3/4 mile hike back, and he'll return the cashe to the spot and catch back up. As he fades back into the mosquito haze, we trek forward to car. Once he catches back up, we load the Gothlings in and leave.

Poor Xic is all scratched up from plants and shit, I got one actual bite on my shoulder, and all we got was a magnet. A fucking magnet. These people need to put cooler shit in the fucking boxes! Assholes.

In other news, Verin is now halfway to his black belt in Karate and in joining a tournament class. The boy takes his training serious, too. I'm proud of him, but fear he may teach his sisters how to really break a door. That's all I need... Oh, and since my meds kicked in, I'm tripping balls again and have no clue what I'm talking about anymore and figure it's time to just STFU until tomorrow. 

~Hekate